Senior dev : * doesn't use git *
Me: you seriously should use git...
Senior dev: * still doesn't use git *
Senior dev: * overwrites production files with old files from other computer *
Senior dev: * talks to boss *
Boss: * gets angry at me *

Sent an email out in work informing everyone that we had pushed updates out to all Windows PC's.

Got the following phone call 10 minutes later:

"Hi, I can't log into the banking account app on my iPhone. Did you do something to it with your updates?"

"Nope. They were PC updates."

"Well, I'm sorry but you're wrong. It must be you! It was working yesterday."

"Again, it's not us. What's the error message you're getting on your app?"

"Invalid password"

".....then could it just be that you're entering an invalid password?"

"No, I know the password. I only changed it yesterday!"

"So it was working before you changed the password?"

"That's what i said!
I'm telling you, it's your updates."

"Okay but before we go 'troubleshoot' it, how about ringing your bank firs-"

"Oh look, it doesn't matter if you don't want to help, I don't have time for this!
I'll ring your boss and he'll uninstall the updates for me and fix the app." *hangs up*

me all the time😂😂😂

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

go home AVG you are drunk

So I just had to teach my brother's 20 year old girlfriend that it's possible to connect to the Internet with a cable.

Life when you didn't know about browsers developer tools

First laugh then comment 😂😂😂

Who wants one?

LOL..Shit!

The new iPhone 7 comes out on August. If you want to have a sneak peek at the new iPhone. Take a look at the your current iPhone and pretend it costs 200 dollars more.

Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

My sons homework:
Matt received 5 apples. He had eaten 3.
Question: how many apples left for him?
My son said 2.
NO! We don't know how many apples he has before. Remember to asaign 0 to variable!

Why devs hate being interrupted...

http://thetomorrowlab.com/2015/01/...

hope this isnt a repeat. have a great weekend guys!!!!!

Does anyone else save their work almost after every change that when you switch to a web browser you hit Ctrl + S to save? XP

Dev confession.
Everybody in my department thinks I am a genius programmer.
I am just a better googler who knows how to apply things.

😂😂😂😂

For windows people

Here we go my first rant...

Not a rant....

I received an email today from a client that reads "I'm so anxious to pay you. This is the best money I've spent on my website."

🤘🤘🤘

Why the fuck do people have to be fucking lazy as hell? There is a dishwasher in the kitchen. Please put your fucking dirty dishes there and NOT ABOVE on the tray!
Also when you take a dump at the toilets: BE FUCKING QUIET! You sound like you are fucked from behind by a T-Rex! You can breath without making sounds!
And for christ sake: If you come into the bathroom please check the fucking signs on the locks BEFORE you try to enter! It is annoying as hell to sit there minding my own business while some douchebag tries to enter my rest room!

School time, programming class:
Girl: Hey, Can you help me?
Me: Sure, what's up?
G: I have an error but I don't know why
M: *looks at error stack trace* You're missing a semicolon in line 133 *puts comma, run... 27 more errors* Well, you have more issues up there, why don't you try to fix them?
G: Oh, Ok, thanks
-- 1 hour later --
G: Hey, can you come? I already fixed the other issues but I still have one I can't fix
M: *checks code, same mistake I fixed, missing semicolon, same line* Why did you erase the semicolon?
G: Oh, because if I erase it, I only have 1 error, but if I leave it, I have 27 so....
M: *turn around, walk away*

So the company I work for decides there's money for installing a Jacuzzi on the roof but won't buy our new dev a PC? Where's he supposed to work? In the fecking hot tub?

Programming Fact

Business as usual...

Even for the 100th time, relatable *sigh*

I know that feeling. Poor you :(

Is it just me or do others also think programmer jokes like "...converts caffeine and pizza into software" and similar to be fucking annoying?

Happy new Date().getYear() + 1; to me!