Pooh memes are the craze now

See someone use: <p style=“color: #FFFFFF;”>a</p>

I once ran a batch import job to stress test with much more data than usual in staging... so I thought.
I sshd into prod by accident. History search can be a bastard at times...

The moment I realized what I was doing was crazy. I was shivering and thought I get fired if anything went wrong.

fortunately I just duplicated the original data for the test, and the system was built to ignore unnecessary updates... so the data was correct and nothing went wrong.

Not an active stupid dev choice but still something I will remember for a while.

Whats the fucking purpose of our companys dev test and prod env. Dev always only has a single instance. Sometimes clustered services run as cluster on test. Producing headaches because the clustering behaviour couldnt be seen on a single instance and Prod lacks all the nice deployment tools off dev/test. Fuck thinking you could dev then test and prod without any major reconfiguration and headaches. And all because the Storage costs is RETARDEDLY expensive because the backup EVERYTHING with ridiculess overkill. That results in headaches when requesting new servers. Took an old Workstation from the shelves and made it my vm slave so at least i could reliably deploy to test.. Fuck this process

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

When I'm still a beginner in git, I always use git push origin <branch_name> --force, for the sake of pushing my code on the master branch. My co-worker always complain why the hell there's always conflict on the master branch.

Getting comfortable in one place for too long and stagnating. It can be easy to automate your job until you can just milk it, but sit still too long and your skills will be irrelevant.

People talk about ageism in development... don't let your mind get old and you'll always have job security.

Well I never saw it this way !!

Never designed a website before. Decided to go against my team's advice and use React. Neck deep in my own shit and nobody can help me because they don't know React. Should've just done it the boring way. Fucking pray for me people. It's due next Tuesday.... 😭

Fuck DuckDuckGo!

Is this is what you "privacy savyy" like to get? Irrelevant content. WTF?! Such a waste of time. I'm selling my soul back to Google. Fuck your opinion.

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

Works like a charm

God I'm immature.

True story 😂

Yell globally

I estimate by guessing how long it will take me to code then multiply it by 3 and round up to the whole unit.

10-30min work = 1 day
2 day work = 1wk
1wk work = 2-3wks
1month = 3 months

If only I didn't have to deal with other people that take forever....

That and I feel lately whenever my boss ask me for a "quick" change or feature... I literally have to go "down boy down, stop thinking your in a candy store" like he's a little kid.

Me: reports vulnerability that can be used to steal thousands of dollars from a company.

Stingy company: gives me 66 USD voucher as a reward. :)

I’m sure many of you are well aware of this, but I just ran across this today and found it amusing. Apparently, Chrome uses the term “zygote” to identify child processes. 😁

Everything is an object for me.....

Me...

Lets fix this bug in production on a Friday afternoon. (did that three times on the same project). Never went wrong :)

Estimating a rather simple looking project without a thorough examination of the client's code.
It turned out to be the worst kind of crap a human brain could produce. The project we estimated for 2 months is going to last 6... And if we decided to rewrite it the day we were to estimate it, it would be done in 6 weeks

Being over confident at the job interview, and answering yes to technologies i barely knew.

Accepted a feature request that practically doubled the workload without asking for more money, on account of trying to be fair to a customer who was working through a translator.

Only to get stiffed on 3/4 of the money agreed to in the first place.

Only saving grace was everything was on my servers, so I took him down for non-payment.

Deploying on friday...

In my master equivalent thesis, I was supposed to build upon a year of work from my predecessors. However, I argued that it had no actual foundation and would never work properly, so I threw it away and started from scratch.

The prof was astonished and commented "well it's your thesis", insinuating that the risk was on me. Turned out I had been right.

I'd never do anything "risky" in a prod environment if I considered it so at the time, but in retrospect there's *lots* of things considered risky now (both from a security and good practice viewpoint) that were standard practice not long ago:

- Not using any form of version control
- No tests (including no unit tests)
- Not considering XSS vulnerabilities
- Completely ignoring CSRF vulnerabilities
- Storing passwords as unsalted MD5 hashes (heck that was considered very *secure* in the days of plaintext password storage.)

...etc. I'm guilty of all of those previously. I daresay in the future there will be yet more things that may be standard practice now, but become taboos we look back on with similar disdain.

Not commenting my code because "it's so clear what I'm doing, how could I ever forget what my own lines of code do."

told the truth to client

Spring JPA might be annoying sometimes...

public MyResult findFirstByIdentities_CompanyIdAndIdentities_UserIdAndFromDateAndToDateAndFormatAndIdentities_SourceAndStatusInAndCreatedOnAfterOrderByCreatedOnDesc(String companyId, String userId, Date fromDate, Date toDate, String format, String source, Collection<String> status, Date createdOn) {...}

I know I know, efficiency is weeping in a dark corner. Will deal with it later