I quite forgot this gem.

"Serverless" be like

This is what they teach in management schools apparently

0 bugs - Dev doesn’t exist
1 bug - There’s a bug!
2 bugs - There’s many bugs
3 bugs - There’s so many bugs
4+ bugs - The app is full of bugs

!rant
So recently I've been getting a bit tired of my countrie's slow and outdated-ass politics combined with the old-ass leadership.
I make an effort to come over as a liberal in public when I'm under people but sometimes..sometimes it's getting a bit hard.

Dear Managers,
This is not efficient:

Boss: * calls *
Me: * answers *
B: there's a bug in feature ABC! The form doesn't work!
M: ABC uses a lot of forms. Is it Form A, B, or C?
B: Umm... let's just go on a Zoom call!
* 5 minutes trying to set up a Zoom call *
* 3 more minutes trying to find the form *
B: This form in here.
M: It works fine for me. What data are you inputting?
B: * takes 5 minutes trying to reproduce the bug * (in the meantime, the call is basically an awkward silence)

You spent 5 minutes wasting both of our times trying to set up a Zoom meeting, and another 8 wasting MY tine trying to find the bug.

This is efficient:
B: There is a bug in form C. If I try to upload this data, it malfunctions.
M: Thank you. I'll look into it.

You saved me 8 minutes of staring at a screen and saved us both another 5 minutes of setting up a meeting.

Nice

Turn-off your notifications

Best: Notepad++. I don't use it to code, but it's so versatile.
Worst: node-gyp.

This is influenced by my current situation but best tool: Visual Studio. Versatile and rich debugger, good language integration for what I do. Worst tool: eclipse. What the fuck is this permacrashing nightmare of an application. And what the actual fuck are these keybinds.

Q) What's the bravest action ever?

a) Sky diving
b) Rock climbing
c) Underwater diving
d) Doing fixes in Production

Correct Answer: Option (d)

Architect of this building is so stupid. The toilet lights are triggered by movement. But they are not hanging in the toilet itself. Im wiping my ass with my flashlight on now…

I hold the stance that the best development tools are the ones with enough novice tolerance and no tendency to stay on contributors' way. The worst tools will make you adopt opinions that serve to make more harm than good, be it on the communicative side of things or codebase.

I've always thought I was somewhat lazy about not caring about plaintext password in RAM in WPF (or whatever) but then this guy made a super valid point...

I really think a hacker would just keylog at that point rather than trying to read your obscure program's memory for your password... especially if they have access to raw memory...

Fucking configuration files man. Every repo has 10+ .config.json files now. Why hasn’t some universal scheme emerged this is ridiculous?!

JEE. It's a tangled mess. I have no clue how to learn it, so I still don't get it.

I submitted a security report some days ago.

It is well written, it explains what is happening and what is the impact providing an example. I give some advice about how to handle this situation, it's about concurrency issues and it's pretty tricky to debug.

Answer from the reviewer:
"Please, can you tell me what are the implications?"

...
...

FUCK.
IT'S LITERALLY FUCKING WRITTEN,
CAN U EVEN READ IT?
THERE ARE PICTURES DESCRIBING THE ISSUE, I EVEN ATTACHED A FILE YOU CAN USE TO DEBUG.

...

This is the last time I report vulnerabilities.

Wordpress.
In my opinion you have to be a psychopath to actually like learning WP at all.
It makes me wanna jump off the closest bridge, taking a header.

Just gonna leave this here.

Don't complain if you refuse to speak up. You don't like how something is going? But you don't want to do something about it? Then shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Getting sick of these fucking coworkers who bitch and whine about everything they don't like but when given the opportunity to speak up and voice their shit they just fucking clam up.

Context: nobody was saying anything during today's retrospective but were talking shit about the project the whole sprint. Gee I wonder why NOTHING FUCKING CHANGES. I'm the only one outside of our product owner and tech lead who even speaks out on problems/issues during the sprint. This dev team I'm on is just.. urgh.

They expect me to have their back, but they don't have mine. For months I've been carrying them. Fine. Enough is enough. The next time they need help from me they'll just get the obligatory "have you googled it because I don't have an answer" response.

"Good design is in all the things you notice. Great design is in all the things you don’t." - Wim Hovens

So I've opened myself to new software engineering positions and was recommended one where the first *benefit* stated:

- High engagement opportunities across our global client base

Am I the only one for whom this is a gigantic red flag and con rather than a benefit? wtf

Trying to learn a bizarre custom javascript wrapper that was used to communicate with complex mobile RF devices, the point being was to control them, but damn thing did not work for crap even if you tried hard.

When any of us devs asked the senior "dev" who designed it if there was any documentation on it so we could actually get started on working, he literally told us we sucked ass and that we were pieces of shit that knew nothing of programming.

Containers, specifically Docker and Compose. It's a beautiful model and it solves a ton of real problems, but the list of unforeseen footguns never ends.

Anyone else just nest a bunch of ifs and loops and feel absolutely disgusted but it works so you don't want to refactor it?

So this app is basically like half reddit/half twitter for devs :/

I fucking hate college beyond the point i can descibe and i regret my life away for the day i started the fucking college i am now year 5 with 5 exams left and i can not fucking pass this fucking usless BULLSHIT its so fuckimg usless and i COULDNT GIVE A FUCK EVEN IF YOU PAY ME TO LEARN THIS I JUST DONT GIVE A F U C K YOU MOTHERCUCKEMJKSKSKEEUEIEEIEUDJSJJSJJSJEKAIQOQOAOQPPSOCMCMCME ECXKSOOWOWISIESIIZIISIJSS E.D.XNXHCNFBFHHDDHXHDHXHHDDDNJDKALOOEOWISJSJWJJWWISIXJXBVNNSNSKEK

That the most important thing in any project is to first make sure YOU have understood what the customer/management wants and that THEY have understood what you are going to do.

Seen so many projects (other people's and my own) go down the drain because people had false expectations.

Also, good management is enormously important for any medium-sized endeavour. I cannot count how often I have seen mediocre to bad middle management screw things up, and devs pull off overnighters and 60+hours work weeks for this super-important project that then goes to the bin because "it turned out to be not so important in the end, sorry."

"When designing an interface, imagine that your program is all that stands between the user and hot, sweaty, tangled-bedsheets-fingertips-digging-into-the-back sex." - Randall Munroe

So my 3 and a half year relationship ended today and I’m not okay. The relationship ended on good terms but I’m alone for the first time in a long time and I don’t know what to do. I’m so fucking sad and I have a few friends that I can talk to but It doesnt fill this void that I feel.

Oh I'm tired of carrying chargers with me. I wish there was something like a wireless distance charger... Kinda like how a WiFi Hotspot can provide wireless connectivity to all devices in the range, I wish there was a Charging Hotspot.

I know this is not exactly dev related but more of physics and engineering, still, anyone has any idea about something like this? Do you think this is feasible?

You ever pick Google Cloud and realise you should’ve gone for AWS? Curse hindsight.