first time i learned to programme was, when i discovered the scripting window on macromedia flash 5

Do not disturb a coder while coding..

if only I could transform....

Algo divertido

that moment when you're looking for part time dev positions but everyone wants full-timers #CollegeLife

That feeling when you notice, that you have a pokestop right infront of yout house😍....
.... Now I can catch Pokemons without leaving the house. Thank You Lure Modules!

On his first week at job, the junior says:

Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.

for the past 3 days here in Beirut, Lebanon

printf("Hello World");

devRant gross truth time: the garbage can at my desk is used exclusively to dispose of boogers and chewed off fingernails.

I didn't really qualify, but I applied for a dream position anyway. I didn't get to say much at the interview. She did all the talking in such a tempo that I sort of lost track of the conversation. Then she said something about an ambulance and I said: "What?"

"Yeah, the last guy had to go to the er, he was so stressed out at the job. Anyway, I think you'll be perfect. We'll call you."

She didn't though, so I called them a few weeks later, prepared for bad news.

"Yeah, sorry for not calling you back. Someone died, so we've been quite busy. Call NN to sort out your schedule."

I did turn out the be real good at the job, and I enjoyed it immensely. I have no idea how she figured that out though.

My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

GNU gettext uses LANGUAGE in the environment for language if set. I found that after spending two days debugging why LC_ALL didn't work.

Hehe..

If you haven't tried coding on a vertical monitor yet, you really should.

Never underestimate the end user

Most of the time we always see only 1st page of Google search. If I don't get the answers in 1st page I rephrase the search string and I never go to 2nd page for more results. Don't u do the same ? 😬

Best explanation of callback from Stackoverflow:

Guy 1 to Guy 2: Hey dude I wanna do something when a user clicks in there, call me back when that's happens alright?

Guy 2 calls back Guy 1 when a user clicks here

So I was driving my car the other day and the screen on my radio decided to go blank and the music stopped. I ended up pulling over and turning my car off and back on again.

I had to reboot my car. Didn't see that one coming. 😡😂

Two types of programmers:
1. :wq
2. ctrl + s

I am 52. I think I am the oldest ranter. This deserves a sticker no doubt!

Hotfixing a bug in production branch be like

http://i.imgur.com/qGB9gOv.gif

Sexlife slow? Edit on production you're definitely be fucked!

Working on the .Net framework makes me feel like I'm working in a McDonald's kitchen.

Am I that bad at JS or long files of Javascript code (200+ lines) are much worse than their PHP equivalent? :))

When you leave your workstation unattended for five minutes.

Now that winter has really kicked in, my hands refuse to warm up in the morning and I'm typing like some sort of end user or something. 🌨😣🌨

Just left a job where I felt like one of the best devs on the team. At my new job I feel I have so much to learn from the devs I work with. I'm so happy. :)

I fear the day I'll find my shitty code here, posted by a co-worker.

When your delivery manager is the stupidest fuckin manager ever born :/

"If you have android code ready then why can't you create iPhone build unh - since A=B, B=C so 'C' SHOULD EQUAL TO 'A' right - so use android code and create iPhone build TOMORROW - don't change the code just create a build in 2 hours and then work on xyz project for other 6 hours since its in HIGH priority"

WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK..
MY DICK = YOUR FACE MOTHERFUCKER :///

I have to stop being awake until 3 AM coding when I have to be at work at 6..