"nobody came to my party, but its ok, i had my code"

"haha i dont have friends other than computers"

"im so sad right now, at least i have my cat"

GO FUCK YOURSELF U FUCKING ATTENTION WHORE

This is my coworker keyboard.

How the fuck can someone like this?

6 hours to make my Ionic cordova app build with native google maps plugin without a problem.

Deploy on my cell.

Not compatible with android 4.4.4.

FUCK YOU SONY! RELEASE A FUCKING UPGRADE TO THIS FUCKING PHONE ALREADY. FUCK YOU XPERIA T3

I hate Microsoft!

But i gotta say, VS Code is a really good IDE. Guess they should've gone open source a long time ago

Tinder experience so far

Girl: "hey, what do you do?"

Me: "im a programmer"

Girl:

Me: "and you?"

Girl:

Me: "... hello?"

*Suddenly unmatch*

Thanks from Brazil, guys!

My Life-philosofy

We are probably reading alot of "this co-worker was so bad because blah blah blah..." from people who actualy were the real shitty co-worker and are still blaming others for his/hers mistakes.
Not a week rant that i can trust...

So, there was this guy where i worked, who was doing some freelancing.

He asked me to do some front-end stuff for him and i said ok.

After some gigs, my boss found out about him working as a freelancer and got really pissed, because, according to him, it was forbidden by company policies (though i never saw it on contract).

After that, the boss started talking to me about shit that the guy did on the past, like stealing, liying about been sick for months, bad mouth the entire company to others companys, etc. Some really bad shit.

End of the story, the company fired that guy, threatened to do the same to me, made me go on record about that shit in court, and that fucking motherfucker didnt even payd me for my last work.

I hope he rot in hell, fucking piece of shit.

Sorry for the long text, but (today) i find it as amusing story.

OMFG! I just figured out the solution for low fps in every gaming console!

I hope this piece of (genius) code get to microsoft/sony!!!

I love when people post a piece of their code here and got ranted for bad practices then posts "haha i was kidding, i would never do this" on the comment section.

I mean, we can learn here to, you're not suposed to be right 100% of the time, stop been so arrogant :/

So, i started TDD with ruby today. And i got to say, RSPEC IS SO FUCKING COOL

The urge to leave my parents house :D

Fucking worked, been gone for 3 years now.

Fifth server been created on amazon so i can finally deploy my laravel web app. Has been 3 days so far...
Fuck me

A few years ago, i was kinda bored on my internship, so i changed the name of all variables of some jquery functions i had on my code with lyrics from a song that was stuck on my head.
Never understood that code again.

Cloning a Magento project from FTP. 19693 files. From a basic template.
FUCK YOU MAGENTO!!

Client calls: "hey man, my shit isnt working".
Me: "uh... Have you pressed ctrl+f5?" while coding on the speed of light so i can say it was his browser problem

I wish i had a time machine just to go back in time and shoot the people who invented Magento. What a load of crap.