Remember this....

When the new guy on the team uses click bait titles on his PRs... that’s when you realise this guys going to go far.

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

Client: This new feature is not working on Internet Explorer.
Me: Do you have enough oxygen in the cave you are living in?

Dude! We have toilets on each floor. Why do you push shit on git?

I once participated in a programming competition. We named our team "NameNotFoundException". Although we didn't win but a few days later we got a call from the organizing committee. They thought that there was something wrong with their system and wanted to know the name of our team. We laughed our asses off.

Next time I see a constructor with 22 parameters. I'm gonna report whoever wrote that to the police

Being a backed developer is like being a spy. You are only known by your failures. You will never get to know a good backed developer or a good spy.

You know you're no longer a junior when you start preferring Mozilla Developer Network over W3Schools

New Project at work.
First commit: 'Initial commit'
Second commit: 'Refactoring'
-.-

TIS 100 the assembly language game.

Last time, my friend said CSS stands for
"Custom Sexy Styles" (dig into my older rants)

This time, he said
"Centering Somewhat Sucks"

Now he knows the deal.

I honestly don't understand why some developers like to shit on other's preferences.

Don't like PHP? Fine, but don't give shit to somebody else for liking it or coding in it.

Not a fan of Javascript? That's cool, but do realize that there are people who enjoy coding with it and don't appreciate you talking shit about their preferences.

Don't like a certain framework? That's okay, but again, there are people who code with it so don't tell them that they shouldn't.

Love Factorio?

Meet Satisfactory. Take my money I have to try this.

www.satisfactorygame.com

Is it just me or has the quality of AAA games declined substantially? Feels like every “good” game nowadays is a remake of another one.

Using Mac at work and Ubuntu at home.

Every feckin weekend I spend 10min relearning keyboard shortcuts before I can get productive because all of a sudden cmd+c doesn't copy but instead deletes random shit.

The madness of life.

Another benefit of working from home: PRIVATE TOILET.

One fucking toilet for 15 people is not enough.

How do you call a sick developer?

A Devil.

Well that joke was shit

Hot take: PHP is pretty good nowadays.

I'm a Laravel dev right now and things just get done so quickly. Every language has its problems but the meme of PHP hate seems to be made more out of ignorance these days. You could find just as many problems with any other language.

For those that say I'm biased because I work through the framework more than the language, I'd ask don't you do the same? ASP.NET, Java EE, the millions of JS frameworks, all these also make your life easier within their languages.

In the end, work with what makes you happy and productive and be done with it.

git add -A
git commit -m "fixed tupo"
git push

🤓

Debating for naming a variable be like**~

ANDDDDDD the award for most useful graph goes TO…

I used to work on a production management team, whose job was, among other things, safeguarding access to production. Dev teams would send us requests all the time to, "run a quick SQL script."

Invariably, the SQL would include, "SELECT * FROM db_config."

We would push the tickets back, and the devs would call us, enraged. I learned pretty quickly that they didn't have any real interest in dev, test, or staging environments, and just wanted to do everything in prod, and see if it works.

But they would give up their protests pretty fast when I offered to let them speak to a manager when they were upset I wouldn't run their SQL.

Security question setup:

Question: Your father's second name
Input: Carl
Error: Please provide at least 5 characters

You failed me, father.

This one, is for all you haters out there tonight!
.
.
.
.

Cause I'm PHP, I'm dynamite
PHP and I'll win the fight
PHP. I'm a power load
PHP, watch me explode()
I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I'm a wanted code
Public enemy number one
Understand

i feel like there needs to be a volume 3 as well

Always multiply your time estimate by Pi (an Irrational number). That way you're guaranteed your estimate will be irrational! (Just like the clients expection :P)

Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"

Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"

Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"

Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"

Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."

Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."

Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"

Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."

Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"

Boss: "But they will never agree!"

Me: "Maybe that is good thing"

Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"

Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"

Boss: "I think I want a new mom"

Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."

Totally agree...

Pixel Nazi - Add a little media query