An Engineer helping a designer

Java is to JavaScript as car is to carpet.

That fortune cookie is definity meant for programmers.

4am

"I need to brush my teeth before going to sleep 😵"
*goes to bathroom*
*washes hands*
*goes to bed*

1minute of heavy processing later

"FUCK"

not the worst by itself, except I keep finding them everywhere

if(thingThatIsTrue == true) {
// omfg
}

or it's inbred cousin

if(!thingThatIsTrue == false) {
//herpa derp
}

Me: Boycotting Facebook lately due to shady business practices, is very outspoken about how people shouldn't use Facebook services

Also me: Literally uses React for every web app

... conflicted 🤔

JavaScript...

I was looking through old entries in my keepass, and I happened across this bit from when I worked in places that still had unix servers. I was so angry at the impossible input issues they had that I put this into my 'handy commands' section.

I sent a professional letter to my boss telling him that i will leave after 15 days. He replied saying :
" stop that bullshit "

Well that was a fun call I just had.

Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.

Me: What?

Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.

Me: What?! Why????

Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.

Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.

Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.

Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.

Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?

Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.

I shall not be limited by the boundaries that they have defined for me! I shall break free from these chains and transcend my internal barriers!
I shall earn my freedom!
-cursor

When you use a new technology without reading the documentation first.

"You're gonna lose. BUG TIME"

Just found the best dev ever.

https://alcohollick.com/tfw.html

Ahh, nice round numbers

admin
admin

My school.

We have free WiFi access, but you need to login into your personal student account to use it.

Turns out, SQL Injection works.
It gets worse.
Table name "schueler".
SELECT *
Well.
Got all data on all students.
Name, address, phone number, passwords in plain.

I reported it using an anonymous email. Partially fixed. Standard quotes now get eacaped. Still, passwords are now MD5.

And there I was thinking about being an Intern here...

NO FIGHTING OVER TABS AND SPACES IN THE COMMENTS PLEASE

How cute *_*

I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:

Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*

WTF is this high school?

Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?

Alright, since Facebook released a VPN service a little while ago but they're actively advertising it as a secure and privacy friendly service, I felt like - although I'm very busy right now - I should do a security/privacy blog post about this.

If you even slightly care about your own privacy or the privacy of anyone you're communicating with, for the love of God, don't use this service.

Hereby a blog post explaining stuffs: https://much-security.nl//...

Using vim inside the terminal to take text based notes for school is kinda like having a Ferrari just so you can use the radio.

Peer-to-peer connection.

🙂

No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Dear future self,

Next time you're working on the project's routes, be sure that people don't have to be logged in to login.

It will make your life easier.

Regards,

Your past self that is tired to be this retarded.

Elon Musk: Space junk is a serious issue
Also Elon Musk: I put a Tesla into orbit lol

Love this guy

*Builds a web component for a client website*

CLIENT: I don't like it, can I have it a tiny bit over to the right more

ME: Taps the arrow key a few times making it look like I'm doing something.(Which actually does nothing)

Client: 👌Perfect

😂😂😂 Wut 😂😂😂

When you don't have money to pay a designer so you decide to do it by yourself.

It's my first try...

New senior dev joined the project today.
Senior dev: "There's no way for me to test my changes before I merge this into develop"
Me: "Can you at least run our test suite?"
An hour later the develop branch is fucked and everyone who has merged it locally has pages of red errors splattered across their screens whenever they run any tests.
Start looking into what the fuck is going on.
Notice that all the errors are related to changes the new guy made.
Ask him if he ran the tests..
Senior dev: "Nah they wouldn't catch anything locally "
Stare at the stream of red text running down my screen.
Normally I wouldn't care but we were trying to prepare a release... RUN THE FUCKING TESTS ASSHOLE.