Manager: "If needed, are you willing to work overtime this month?"

Developer: "Yes. [ ... pause ... ] would you give me some over my salary for sometime?"

Manager: Yes, increment happens every 6 months.

Developer: "I am thinking beyond it".

Manager: "No, it is not possible"

Developer: "Okay"

** alarm clock vibrates **

Developer: "It is 5:00 PM now. I need to leave. See you on coming Monday at 9:00 AM sharp"

[Developer left]

Manager: "Byeeeee ... "

It counts?

What my 2019 will look like...

People:
Hell yeah we need to DECENTRALIZE THE INTERNET

Same people:
*host their own project at aws*

Internal Microsoft conflicts 😂

This is so me

Aaaaaaa 😂😂😂 quit vim

I hate such glitches in adblockers these days

Front end engineer road map for 2018

My #developer stater pack!

Just moved into our new house today and my wife gave me an early Christmas present. Really just completes my new office. This beautiful lamp is touch activated on each individual light and each light is individually dimmable by touch as well. 😍 had to share

Me: *accidentally opens DevTools*

1.269427 milliseconds later...

Person: TEACHER! He’s HACKING INTO GOOGLE DRIVE!!!

Teacher: *glances at computer* Oh my gosh! That is ILLEGAL! Go to the office immediately.

I reluctantly headed to the office and calmly explained what happened. Luckily, some people have a bit of common sense and let me go.

Begin a lazy fuck -> not taking the time to learn git while I've had plenty of time and now I still hardly know how to use it.

!rant
After knocking off from work, I went to nearby Coffee shop to grab a Coffee. I met a girl and we started talking about our day. She asked me to do her a favor and take a look at her laptop, it’s been playing up for sometime now. So, I went. She took me to her bedroom where the laptop was, and the conversation continued on topic romance, sex and girlfriend. You know what happened next…Yes.

For the first time in my life I fixed a hot cheeks computer and got laid.

What was wrong? There was a malware in her computer which was opening random websites.

Thank you @dfox

Glad I could help with the .com domain!

That feel when you Google your problem and the first result is your own stack exchange post without any answers 🙄

I like my new USB enter key.

When your coffee supplier won't let you order < 5. Client side validation wins again.

Hello it's my first day here.

So where is the coffee machine?

Permissions in Windows

And you call this a changelog?

I really hope that Twitter doesn't use this internally.

Me: (putting headphones on)

Boss: You are an engineer. You need to focus. You cannot multitask. Nobody can. You need to concentrate on the work and deliver. If you ...blah.blah.blah.

Me: 😃 hmm yes you are right (dying on the inside)

Boss: if you are listening songs, your attention is towards that, you learn nothing of what you are working on.

Me: 😃 True Indeed.

Inner me 👿: Motherfucker. I use headphones so I don't have to listen to you giggling about with your mates in a bragging battle, in a language I do not understand, which is noise to me.
And technically, I do not listen to songs, I listen to music, while doing repeated tasks, so that I can overcome the boredom and do it quick in a rhythm.
But you wouldn't understand now, would you, YOU OLD FART, you fuckin Remnant of the Ancient times.

Boss emailed me that I need to work again on Saturday and Sunday.
I replied with a resignation letter.

Talk about being down to earth.

Why does everyone assume that developers are going to become billionaires someday?

Got error: I am such a noob programmer, dumb, I hate my life, I hate programming... *cries like a kid*

Error fixed: I am God!

Story of my life.

make, because you know, it makes sense :P

Sheer cruel🤣🤣🤣