A big shoutout to all software vendors, who, at the top of their product homepage, simply explain to you in 2-3 non-bullshit sentences what their product actually does, and what it is used for. I fucking love you.

And a big fat middle finger to all the rest with your useless buzzword gobbledygook. Go to hell.

me and my colleagues fix bugs while watching porn

Fuck you. Really.

For buying a pizza for lunch, bringing it to the office and eating it at your desk.

I was just sitting here eating my lunch, but hey. I guess I have to go get a pizza now. Dammit.

😢 ..damn true...

Meme intended for physics, but sometimes it also happens in progamming. I am looking at you Javascript.

Source: https://theladyscientist.tumblr.com/...

*taking out phone in the middle of the night*
PHONE: MAY THE LIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND SUNS PIERCE YOUR MORTAL EYES

Can we all take a moment to appreciate what a complete mess web technologies are.

We're abusing a markup language made for scientific writing, by styling it with css and in order to make it dynamic somehow, we run a weird ass scripting language on the clientside.

Because nobody really wants to use this burning garbage can, some of us invented web frameworks.

And let's not get started on php...

Deploy on Friday, I dare you!

Deploy on Friday 13th (today), I double dare you!!

Dear devrant, I apologize for any really random rants for the night, I'm out drinking and clubbing with friends and am already having Dev thoughts.

you know something's wrong...

Did know you could use more than 100% of your ram

Let's get rid of the developer training: Pair Programming

Let's get rid of the software testers: Test First Programming

Let's get rid of the project managers: Agile

Let's get rid of the project planners: Scrum

Let's get rid of the system admins: DevOps

Let's get rid of the security guys: DevOpsSec

Let's get rid of the hardware budget: Bring Your Own Device

Let's get rid of the servers: Cloud Computing

Let's get rid of the other scruffy guys: Outsourcing

Let's get rid of the office space: Home Office

Let's get rid of the whole fucking company: Takeover

My app just surpassed 100 downloads, I’m programming 2 new apps without really running in bugs, holidays have started, and I’m going to Canada for half a year :) pretty good going

Finally!
I installed gitlab at our company. I ranted about not using any version control whatsoever in the past but now it happened!

My boss wanted to see a project I was working on for himself so I copied the project to a usb drive and gave it to him. I used git for the project locally and I told him to use this too if he changes anything. And that it would be a great idea to have this centralised on our server. He agreed and I told him he just had to give me the order to implement it. He was like "go ahead" and one hour later we had a gitlab up and running.
We will have some internal training to do and then we are in the 21st century!

I'm so happy right now.

"We shall be doing maintenance on Friday 13th at 20:00 hours on our core routers"
I dont know if your insane or what. Dont think it helps that the ticket this created has 666 in its id....

zsh vs fish, what are your thoughts?

How to get answers on StackOverflow without getting attacked by ferocious developers:
1) Ask your question before 2012
2) Upload as many details as possible. (Send your entire PC by mail is reccomended)
3) Be as specific as possible. Just repeat your question indefinetly changing the wording a little bit.
4) Don't ask for code examples. If you ask stupid questions it's obvious you are an expert developer and know how to implement stuff... right?

Most importantly respond politely to all of these traditional stackoverflow answers:
"Did you at least google it?"
"You need to be more specific"
"We can't spoon feed you"
"You shouldn't do that thing that way, I personally prefere this way and nobody can change my mind"
"You don't have enough experience to do that thing, don't do it"

Visual Studio summarized

Friend: Hey, your code doesn’t work because you have too many lines of code !

Me: Wait... What?

I don't have fights since I don't talk to people

Do devs really fight or do we just mildly assert differing opinions then ignore each other for extended periods of time?

This is my social and Dev life ;(

I've started collecting pictures of my friends!

Because blockchain is a merkle tree-like data structure that isn’t synonymous with a cryptocoin. I feel like blockchain fell into that buzz word pit, with machine learning, that execs use to try sound innovative and smart in front of superiors.

I now know why people don't write tests.

Been trying to get started with React unit tests for weeks now.

Hope Driven Development FTW.