So, a close relative of me is a local politician in my hometown.
I managed his political website for a while but then I completely left it in the hand to who deal whit is PR.

Today he emailed me to update only the header photo. No big deal.

After a bit of scrambling I find what I used when I made that.

FML I hate me of the past

Scrum:

Boss to designer: sadly the green logo was not chosen and we will go with the purple one.

D: oh good choice, but why green was discarded?

B: green is not enough criptocurrency related.

Me: in my mind: how a color is crypto related... What wut? Procceed to do weird faces, twitch and spasm while I try to sort this out.

Boss see me and beat me (gently!) with an inflatable chicken.

Guys. Green is not crypto.

Guys.

I understand the common folks who do not know the key to press to achieve so.

But you are fucking DEVS for fuck sake stop taking pictures of your code and do a friggin screenshot if you must.

Everytime i see the frame of your laptop and shaded / obfuscate by reflection code I wanna take your phone, slam it on your screen and then take a fucking screenshot. And show you that it fucking works even when your screen is broken.

*adjust his bow tie*

Okay. Feeling better now.

So. I maintain few open source vuejs components for my company.

We use a lot of open source so when we can and is not conflicting with the work schedule we open source stuff that we do for ourselves, document them and publish them on npm.

All fine, actually all nice!

To be honest the components are not super used but today I got an issue on one of them: "I want this pleaaase implement"

I want? WTF? Am I nervous or this is not the correct approach? What open source santa Claus? I understand that some people may not take the burden of submitting a pr (after i wrote an entire doc section about how to develop the component more) but starting with: I want??

Not okay. NOT OKAY!

Fuck you. Fuck you brain / body / wathever regulate my sleep cycle.

Went to sleep early, 9:30 amazing! Allarm is set to 4:30 I get 7 hours of sleep yay.

But no, let's wake up at 23:30 fully wide awake and do not be able to fall asleep anymore.

Now is 8:11 and on my way to the gym and then work I started yawning and I feel like sleeping.

Seriously? I would pick out that part of my brain, chew it spit it and then throw it to rats to feed on it.

Coffe where the fuck is my cofee??

Oh today is also the day we start an awesome new opencsource project that I was looking forward to. AND I AM TIRED AS FUCK.

I put the same song in a forever loop.
There are 3 stages each increasingly stronger! :

Level one: get lucky - daft punk
Level two: whiskey in a jar - Metallica cover
Level three: gangnam style - psy

I close all im, email and whatnot and code till exhaustion.

I normally listen to metal and classical music BTW.

It works

So today it finally happened.

Npm modules broke my system and / or endangered the security of my system.

Installed a global cli utility
That utility depends on package A
That depends on package B

That fucking install a bin called sudo

Yeah.. You heard it right a bin called sudo.

This bin goes in the global module folder that is piped in your path variable.

Now everytime you type sudo you are running somebody else code instead of your system utility.

I am shivering and at loss of swear words.

Opened an issue on the cli that started this matrioska game of horror.

Who the fuck tought that a bin called sudo would be a good fucking idea?

Oh and yes is even an harmless package that try to provide the sudo experience for windows (I went in to check the code of course..)

And I frigging need that cli for work

For now I aliased the sudo in my bashrc still i feel vulnerable and naked now.

!rant
Disregarding completely the anonimity factor...!

Guys vuejs conf in Amsterdam is happening tomorrow! If you are attending and see three guys with green t shirt with pulilab written on it just approach us!

We can't wait to meet some fellow ranters

!rant

Any one is coming to vuejs conference in Amsterdam fellow ranters?

I've a 2018 (or a 2^11 - 30 as one of my co-worker calls it) wish.

That we all stop hating and ranting to languages and start directing the dark force to people who misuses them.

Because those are the evil, not a bunch of lines, maintained by some poor fellows.

Except PHP.. PHP ducks (typo intended and irony banner up)

Rant rant rant!

Le me subscribe to website to buy something.

Le register, email arrives immediately.
*please not my password as clear text, please not my password as clear text *

Dear customer your password is: ***

You dense motherfucker, you special bread of idiotic asshole its frigging 2017 and you send your customer password in an email!???

They frigging even have a nice banner in their website stating that they protect their customer with 128bit cryptography (sigh)

Protect me from your brain the size of a dried pea.

Le me calm down, search for a way to delete his profile. Nope no way.
Search for another shop that sells the good, nope.
Try to change my info: nope you can only change your gender...

Get mad, modify the html and send a tampered form: it submits... And fail because of a calculation on my fiscal code.

I wanna die, raise as a zombie find the developers of that website kill them and then discard their heads because not even an hungry zombie would use that brains for something.

Tight deadline, codebase not mine, I wrote an hack that read a dom element in the page in js extract some data, append it to the query string and then refresh the page to get the desired result. All the rest of the logic is in PHP. I still feel guilty.

You know that you have fucked up another night when you are browsing devrant and your phone turns off the soft-color-night-mode because the sun has infact rise.

Fuck my life, another fucked up night and following day

Project handover:

"Mmh okay, so what about test coverage?"

Dev: "zero"

Team taking the project "why???"

Dev: "You don't need test if you write perfect code"

Silence in the room... Followed by awkward laugh.

!rant

Boss: ehi I was checking out our latest product (made in vuejs) it's blazing fast and responsive.

Me : shiny eyes "... Can I refactor our biggest project from angular 1.5 to vuejs?"

Boss: "mmh what can you save from the old code base? "

Me: "mmh.. A lot.. Mmh like.. The CSS!"

Boss : "no"

I hoped!

Monday morning
Get to work
Open email
Ci went crazy
Slack is on fire
Some npm modules deprecated approach
Rewrite docker files
Some other npm modules disappeared.

I hate you web technologies, I hate you developers who make releases Friday night.

I hate everything.

Ffs on the weekend just build Ikea fornitures instead of fiddling with my stack!

Sigh.

If you think : I should probably refactor this. Just do it. Especially if is your code.

Today I did fallocate, then swapon, but after that my swappines decreased to ten.

Its an hard life

Sneaking a JavaScript code to open Kung fu panda scadush scene on logout :D never actually got merged to main branch (nor I would allow it) but got all the team giggling