Client: That loading screen is going by too fast. The customer can‘t read the slightly too long text. Add 2 more seconds to the load time.

Is this real life?

Thinking about writing a browser extension that automatically gives a thumb down to every Adam Sandler movie on Netflix. At the rate they are appearing, it's just too much manual labor.

Here's a silly side project I've been working on just for fun:
https://soundofco.de/

It "programmatically" creates sound from code (or plain text) on GitHub. I wouldn't call it music, because it sounds kind of horrible almost all of the time :D It's very simple: The length of a line defines the note to be played. Really just a nerdy bit of fun.

Unfortunately I have absolutely zero knowledge in music theory and I have no idea how to make the resulting sounds more pleasant or even melodic. If you're interested in making this better or helping out with feedback, you can find the project at https://github.com/dneustadt/...

Also feel free to share if you find anything on GitHub that makes for some decent sounds :D (I doubt it)

Found the guy with the best commit history. That also goes on for hundreds of pages.

FYI rambox users: My pull request got merged and as of version 0.6.0 devRant is now one of the pre-configured services 🎉

I had a pretty good laugh just now.
There's this extension I wrote for our client's online shop which enables them to create template files via the backend. Essentially it's just an editor reading and writing files from/to a directory.

So I installed said extension using a package I found locally, thinking it was the latest release. Unfortunately it was not.

As I said the extension writes template files within it's own directory and back when I had packed up the extension, I must had forgotten to delete these template files resulting from tests and messing around.

Long story short, I just received a ticket about a line of text suddenly showing up below the product page description saying: "I like turtles!"

The ticket itself was very professional though and the client didn't forget to mention that the "notice" was not part of their product feed data. No shit! LOL

Using commit messages to vent one's anger.

Time to do a little bit of shaming:

I'm specialized in e-commerce applications, mostly based on Shopware, a german out-of-the-box online-shop. They essentially claim to be a better Magento. In December of last year I found a critical issue within the code. Products within the shop can be declared as digital wares. In that case the purchase of a product will unlock the possibility to download a designated file.

As a customer you can access your downloads within the account section. Now here's the problem: The query that fetches the unlocked downloads for a customer is hard-capped at 500 rows. So after your 500th purchase, you won't be able to access any further files you paid for. Essentially their developers thought that this limit would never be exceeded anyway and called it a day.

Personally I think this unacceptable. For the merchant this is a potential law-suit in the making. So I took the time to refactor the code and fix the issue. The corresponding pull-request was flagged as scheduled back in December. Since then there have been numerous releases and the issue is still present. Not only do I ask myself why I should ever put in time and effort to fix their code again, but I also can't believe that they just chose to ignore the issue completely. Also mind that this is not just a small or non-profit open-source project. The responsible company behind the software is a stock corporation that claims to be the market leader in Germany.

The joys of being a full-stack web-developer...

Best of rage induced commit messages

Shit recruiters say:
"We need solution experts, not language experts, because a language is just a tool."

Well then, good luck with your spaghetti code solution.

I just launched a small web service/app. I know this looks like a promo thing, but it's completely non-profit, open source and I'm only in it for the experience. So...

Introducing: https://gol.li

All this little app offers is a personal micro site that lists all your social network profiles. Basically share one link for all your different profiles. And yes, it includes DevRant of course. :)

There's also an iframe template for easy integration into other web apps and for the devs there's a super simple REST GET endpoint for inclusion of the data in your own apps.

The whole thing is on GitHub and I'd be more than happy for any kind of contribution. I'm looking forward to adding features like more personalization, optimizing stuff and fixing things. Also any suggestions on services you'd like see. Pretty much anything that involves a public profile goes.

I know this isn't exactly world changing, but it's just a thing I wanted to do for some time now, getting my own little app out there.

Senior PHP Dev touching C++ for the first time at age 32

I'm about to create a pull request for adding devRant as one of the default services in Rambox. Anybody dig it?

One of the most stupid phrases I hear again and again is "to not reinvent the wheel". Guess what, if no one had ever dared to take the first iteration of something, throw it out the window and start from scratch, we'd still be living in the stone age. If you're gonna use a library or a framework, fine, that's totally valid. Just make sure to actually understand the tools and code you're working on. People now tend to use these without knowing exactly what they do. And then once the original authors retire, no one knows what to do if something breaks. There can't be innovation if you don't try to reinvent. Don't shy away from writing from scratch sometimes.

You know what I just love? That co-worker who constantly cracks his knuckles. I wonder what sound it would make if someone made his fingers bend just a little more.

Our customer's internal IT department isn't able to offer a solution for a single sign-on when the user needs to navigate into one of their apps. So they just show something like this before that happens: "For security reasons you'll have to enter your username and password again during the next step." Sure, that sounds believable. Oh boy.

It feels like this piece of code tells a story. Something about lingerie models, a wild night and frantically trying to get rid of any evidence.

When you don't care anymore...

You would think that one might get used to the following scenario, but it still pisses me off every time it happens. I'm getting a design created by the customer that is specific to a pixel-level. The product I create in turn is very close to a 100% match visually and functional. And then a few days later, the work already done, I get renewed versions of the same designs. Just like that. With all those nooks and crannies replaced and new ones added, as if it didn't took time, effort and experience to make them functional in the first place. And no one blinks an eye. Not the customer, not our project managers. So after having me built you intricate card board house, you just smash it and tell me to rebuild? It's not always a huge deal but it happens so often and I guess it's part of the "customer is king" mentality, but it's bullshit. If the customer hands in a final design, then that's it. Any changes afterwards need to be paid extra. Otherwise it feels like I'm wasting my time and those changes will not get the same quality treatment for sure.

Fun fact: "wix" of wix.com in German language phonetically translates to a vulgar word for masturbation. Not only describes my feeling towards services like these but also gives new meaning to the "do it yourself" mentality.

So my hosting service recently informed me of a personal information leak due to a data feed that “accidently“ went public. I'm lost for words.

Had to work with a SOAP API that was described by its WSDL to have a property called "ShoppingCart". Wasted two days trying to figure out what's wrong. The customer sent a screenshot of their backends input mask. It was then that I noticed that the corresponding label read "ShopppingCart". Yes, that's what the property was actually named.