And it ran forever

Your mama's so fat she can't save files bigger than 4GB

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

I just got a text message saying I got an email. This can't be good...

Aww Adobe😝

Fuck you Citrix you piece of shit!

The guy who reported a serious exploit in the company's system got arrested this morning. Safe to say the Hungarian public isn't very happy. I took the screenshot 5 minutes ago, it went up to 3.1k since then 😂

Start-up life.

Learning to code but must do website.

Must learn illustrator....

Can`t even select a fucking circle without it becoming a splatterod non sensical shapes.

Been at it for 2 weeks.

Boss/friend like. Hey i know its the holidays but lets catch up to see what youve done....

Me. Well... I can fuck up circles ;)

!dev
So my housemate bought a violin. Gone are the days of quiet programming.

(No he is not some kind of virtuoso, even a woodpecker would play it better.)

Hey you guys working on cloud technologies..
Can you guys... like .... turn off the 'Rain', in my location, for a while. ?
I wanna get home :\

I hate that, not only did this error happen, but they weren’t smart enough to hide the MySQL stack trace

Upgraded linux kernel to the fucking jupiter and my machine now got +5 hours of battery! It's just awesome.

A lot of effort went into this job description. Well done recruiter, well done 👍

"Hey, can you help me with our Algorithms & Data Structures task? I tried to tranlate my problem with Google translator but I can not select the option to translate into Java."

I was speechless when a girl actually asked me that

Once I failed captcha 4 times in a row. My colleagues told me: "Update your firmware, RoboCop"

So I'm sick. But my inner coder tells me that I could atleast do some basic design for my project.

So I go to sit down at my home computer and immediately feel my nose literally start dripping of snot as soon as I lean in to sit. So lile any normal man i take a tissue, wipe and blow my nose and it's now time to login on the computer.

*Wrong password*

Oh, I've must been to quick

*Try again*
*Wrong password*

Wtf?!

*Slowly type my password in*
*Wrong password*

*Fuck it, show password*

A space is missing.
Alright I'll just add it in then.

*Tap spacebar*
*Nothing*
*Tap harder*
*Nothing*

So I rip out the space bar and find a two little drops of snot that must have juuuust fallen between the cracks.
I tried to wipe it away and put the space bar back, but it's dead. :(

Why is DevRant consuming so much power in the background? My Android starts ranting about it every time I leave the app minimized.

I recently downloaded a new piece of software, an it greeted me with this screen.

I don't know who was more confused, me or the program.

Me, sarcastic?
As if

How it's like when having a great product idea.

This is my car.

View Source can reveal some interesting things sometimes - wonder what went wrong here?

Gotta scroll fast

!rant
It's my 22nd birthday today and I think my girlfriend has just given me my new debugging partner... Myself!

First time I've seen an app which willingly, intelligently, and sensibly turns off its own daily notifications after I never used their app for many many weeks.

Props to the devs for taking into account people like me,who are just too lazy to disable an app's notifications. Also Enki is absolutely incredible for devs so go check it out :D

Stranger: "what are you doing?"
Me:"I'm developing a WPF app for a personal project"
Stranger:"So it's for Windows...I prefer Linux because...blah blah"
Me: -.-

Sometimes I feel like Linux users are the Vegans of the tech world...

When you SSH into a machine and then SSH back into yours, you know you are drunk.

I'm new to DevRant

Made an account just to say how much I hate lf-crlf errors. Fucking waste of time. Everytime. Feeling creative? How about spending hours on SO?

Me: Why are we spending time building reports for Support? AFAIK they never read or use them.

Boss: Seems they expect you to do it.

Me: Then what exactly are they supposed to be doing? All the issues seem to just escalate back to us.... We should just make sure issues never get into PROD

Boss: I agree, they're always firefighting... we gave them more funding so eventually they should catch up **Me: I highly doubt it, you should just stop hiring monkeys** esp. if we prevent PROD issues.

Me: Yea... we should prevent production issues because someone always has to pay off the (technical) debt and interest rates in PROD are very high

The answer to my deadline. HAHAHAHA