It’s my new title

Name a more iconic duo than web developers on help sites and having pissing contests over which modules they use instead of actually answering the question!

I've been a web dev/server admin for all of about a month now, and only known PHP for about a week of that, and the one thing really that grates on me isn't PHP's odd function naming inconsistencies or at times outright trash documentation, it's the other developers who, when asked a fairly straightforward question about why a mysqli function won't return something, demand you use PDO instead.

Please. I'm running a LEMP stack on a Raspberry Pi here, I'm trying to keep dependencies to an absolute minimum because the SD card is tiny, the Pi will catch on fire if it runs any hotter, and more dependencies are more potential points of failure. Just answer the damn question. I'm not going to install PDO for something I know I can do anyway just because it makes my code look slightly prettier.

Honourable mention to all you Node.js developers out there too, with your thousands of useless npm dependencies. I salute you.

The king is dead!
Long live the kind!

We had recently a thread asking about our internet speeds, this seems relevant to most of what I've read in the comments so far.

Downloaded example code and he left gmail credentials in...

Found this somewhere and started crying

My phone analyzes the text of the message when I get a dropdown notification. It ((tries)) to recommend a anwser that I can send with 1 click using some chinese "ai". There is no way to turn this off.

Makes some pretty funny screenshots sometimes tho 🤷🏻‍♂️

When I knew I wasn't good in anything else

When I copied an answer from Stack Overflow, and my boss said I was a genius.

Sorry, your password is taken

— Why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
— I want to be a señor developer.

Shamelessly stolen from reddit

I will only sign up for TikTok if Microsoft successfully buys it, then rebrands it as something like Microsoft Audio/Video Social Gallery 2020 (Community Edition)