Right now

Am I the only one who feels overwhelmed, excited, confused and in an anxiety/desesperation-scene on developing JS base de software.
Don't judge me, I'm a newbie

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

I started counting at 0

Client: I said I wanted that text to be white. We talked about this. You have to do what I tell you.

Me: the text is white. The color code is #ffffff.

Client: well make it more white!

*Sigh*

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

Dev: why should I develop windows phone apps. Almost nobody uses this kind of shit.

Customer: Why should I use a fucking windows phone. The windows app store is as empty as a ghost town.

My life in one picture

The Company I work for has a new Website.
Me: opens inspector, changed an elements position.
Boss: "Stop! We paid so much for this you'll destroy everything."
Me: reload page, smile at him.

Where I currently work (and have done for 10 years) we were recently recruiting for another dev, and one of the other devs and our line manager were running the interviews.

After 3 or 4 failed interviews they decided to test the questions on me... I got 3 out of 10 :(

My argument was (and still is) if I get stuck programming I can google, or you can teach me new stuff. And I can make a good cup of coffee

Wondering around some code and I found:

// The next few lines of code should be fairly self-explanatory
// ...

Well if it were so self-explanatory then why TF putting up a comment here!!

Git blame file

Oh sugar it was written by me...

FUCK PEOPLE WHO INDENT LIKE THIS YOU MAKE ME SICK

"Can you make this button more disabled?"

There's no greater waste of time than laying in bed with your significant other and waiting on them to fall asleep so you can tip toe back to your computer in order to hit a deadline.

Literally my ritual every night.