Dear business people, developers also have bills to pay.

He: Hey could you please help me with my code?
Me: mhmm ok..
He: I've made this and this and this and this...aaand this and this and... Oh that is the problem. Thx for your help bro.

I'm proud to be a rubber duck.

For two weeks I am paid 50$ an hour 6 hours a day / 5 days per week as someone called "Web deployment supervisor". The work is based on checking if the website throws an error and fixing it (devops) and staying in touc with the customer and helping him. The wevsite i wrote is just a small PHP site, well tested, almost no user input, if you dont drop whole DB it cannot basically crash. So for past week I am just copypasting documentation for the client what/how to do things. Today I already sent him same info 4 times. For me as a student and a freelance web dev it's a gold mine. I am having vacations for 14 days (thanks to damaged school water supply), getting paid 50$/hour for playing PUBG and using Ctrl+F in my Firefox, but god hell, it's so fucking psychically hard. Sometimes I have an urge to scream on that retard "I'VE SENT YOU THAT SAME SHIT 4 MINUTES AGO RETARD USE YOUR FUCKING SCROLL WHEEL IN OUR CHAT FOR FUCK SAKE".

New kid came to me in my break (while I was playing LoL) saying I should start coding (he had no clue what my role within the company is).
Said that if I won't get a career in league, I could just (as if it's done in a few minutes) learn coding and make a website with thousands of users (as if that is just done like 1 2 3).
Then with a big grin on his face he proceeded to say "if you ever have some issues with making websites, I could just come to him and he can teach me the basics of Javascript, HTML, CSS and PHP".
So I said: "and who are you?"
He told me his name and what he is going to do within the company.
So I said with a big grin on my face: "Ah, so you're the new kid the boss told me about, nice to meet you, from today on, I'll be your Senior."
I then saw his big grin disappear
then with a big smile on my face I proceeded to say: "If you ever have some issues, please come to see me and I'll be happy to teach you the basics of Javascript, HTML, PHP and CSS"

Then he walked away :^)

That moment when you search Git for "id_rsa" and actually get hits.

Do you feel me?

Waiting for devRant iOS update 🙄

When a developer sees a pm it's like a bull seeing red , especially a day before delivery

I feel like only software engineers and IT can answer 2 part questions. Everyone else just answers the first one...

#DesignFacts :

The Sony Vaio identity, created by Timothy Hanlet, represents both analog (the wave of V and A) and binary (I and O).

Did your company or boss ever do or say anything as a guise to make you think the company is fair or giving you more but instead was doing the opposite? For examples...

When at every company party there is a drawing with top prize an all paid with PTO exotic vacation for two and the top sales guy ALWAYS wins.

I mean really does the company think we are that dumb? It is like the time our CEO announced instead of our 8% quartly bonus if we make EBITA targets we were going to get 6% once at the end of the year. He said that was soo much better cause we would get more money on that one paycheck instead of small sums once a quarter. Think about that one.... What kind of morons does he take us for?

.samsung {
@extend .apple;
}

3:30 on a Friday, random PM: our Argentina devs just sent out a merge request. We need to release before the weekend.
me: We try not to release on Friday afternoon unless it's for a high priority bug fix.
PM: This is urgent
me: why?
PM: We're two weeks behind schedule and the dev for this it's going on vacation in an hour.
me: so, you want to release when there's no one around if something goes wrong and the person who knows anything about it isn't contactable?
PM: yes
me: no.

Okay. So this Is my first rant. Don't you hate it when a client provides you with really crappy res images for a project? this tends to happen a lot...

I can't wait until I automate you.

- The PDF you are sending is wrong - said the boss.
- Why? -
- Client says that it is not complete. -
I check the pdf, nothing missing.
- I don't understand -
- The client only sees a part of it, this corner -
- Client should zoom out pdf reader -

When you get a dinner for 2 gift for all the hard work you put in the last week and realize you don't have any woman to go with because of it

So many tasks to do that are piling up for my startup, and so little time with day job taking it all away from me. Ugh

Reviewing bosses code and had these two if statements with no logic between
if (someVar) {
if (someVar) { // double check someVar is true just in case
}
}

hate to work with time zones in destributed services

People who say "baybel"

I keep jumping between unfinished personal projects and then i get busy with the job, when I try to go back to them, I lose interest! Any advice?

When the powers that be say let's support ie8

Phone call with random guy:
"Hi I have an awesome idea for a mobile app that's going to change the world. I just don't know how to program it."

Me: "cool, let's set up a meeting to hash out the details and discuss the project & costs"

Guy: "I was hoping you would be able to do it for 10% equity, it's gonna make millions!"

Me: "Facepalm"

Who has experienced this? Haha it makes me giggle like a baby 😂

When the battery in your MacBook Pro explodes , buckling the trackpad and prying off the bottom 👍🏽

Guy told me Java Swing is more stable and has more effective look than JavaFx. Okay mate, I'm sure. 😒

I get so bored being the only developer, that I need to have some back end fun

Sitting next to the sales guy at work,l and I'm just like

Reverse engineering a USB device driver I already have the source for because apparently it runs on Donald Trumps hair magic.