Public class douche implements douchebaggery {...}

Public interface douchebaggery {
Public void beInconsiderate();
Public void wearSunGlassesIndoors();
}

Me: Whats the deadline?

Client: Asap

Me: And when are we getting paid?

Client: 30 days after you give us the invoice ☺

Best possible week 13 rant... 😑

Best story ever

This really happened to me yesterday at work.

Me: *walks into office*
Coworker: Hey Will, I got a question for you
Me: I...[read more]

meanwhile in Portugal ...

"Can I like, download some WiFi so I can use it later on the train ?"

Me on my phone, visiting a website. A popup appears "You have 300 viruses on your phone. Download this app."

You fucking piece of Javascript, stay in your limits.

Douche: So your a programmer ?

Me: Yes

Douche: Excellent, I have an idea.....

Me: No

Douche: cmon bro, week be rich, this screensaver so will make us tons of money

Me: I have a question.

Douche: corz man waddup

Me: do you use a screensaver?

Douche: no, why?

Me: *walks away angrily

Whenever i see "Create an app without coding" advertisement on facebook, first thing that come in mind is "Fuck a girl without a dick"

your Windows copy is not genuine..

dafaq??

"Macs can't get viruses, right?"

User: Why did you cleaned my recycle bin? I had important documents there!

Happened to me a long time ago. The user was one of the managers... 🐒

"The school tech asked me for my MAC address on my phone, but I told them I didn't have one because my phone is Android and Macs only have MAC addresses, right?"

-my wife