When i ask you a question through skype or mail, I expect a fucking answer.
You might just say that you don't know. That is okay.
But we all fucking work from home and I can see you're there. FUCKING ANSWER YOU INCOMPETENT, USELESS, UNPROFESSIONAL SACK OF SHIT.
It is so fucking counterproductive. I fucking hope all the chocolate chips in your life turns out to be raisins.

It is fucking impossible to underestimate these people.

I am seriously jealous of all of you here on devrant, for not having met these washed up twats.

Receiving a bug report from the manual tester “numeric input does not work”.

He accidentally disabled Num Lock on his keyboard.

I'm the biggest dumbass, the laziest procrastinator I know of..

Joined devRant in June 2017, got eligible for the stickers in a week's time, sent a mail requesting them, but never received it. Given the size of our community, I thought I'm way behind in the list and probably receive them in few months. After a year, I totally forgot about it.

But, the colossal stupid that I am, had also lost the key to my mailbox (the physical one). I never cared about the lost key, because who sends post these days !!!

When I finally got a duplicate key for my mailbox after 2 years, guess what I found.. a first class international mail from devRant which arrived on July 2017 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️, couple of weeks after I originally requested

But, yay... I finally got them..

top categories of people screwing my job:
- consultant
- fake positive thinking attitude

We just hired a fake positive thinking consultant

This is the problem with iot

Did you buy it?
Yes.
What did it cost?
EVERYTHING!

Google: The all mighty bug fixes for Android Studio are now live, see version 3.4
Android Studio: But I still freeze when I need to format xml files tho, but who cares...

** Days later
Google: Android Studio 3.4.1 is now live! Smash those bugs!
Android Studio: lool I still freeze when formatting an xml file ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

When you realize that you're googling an error message you've implemented yourself

I finally finished building my desktop to the specs I want!

I bought NZXT's Nuka-Cola themed case & mobo cover when they were announced. I've been planning this build for a while, but:

My laptop fell off a bench (while in my backpack) a couple months ago and the screen broke, so I bought this nice CHG70 from Samsung and put on top of it. That worked fine for a while, but within a couple weeks that laptop also stopped sending a display signal.

Having already dropped a lot of money on the monitor of my dreams and not being able to bear returning it after having it in front of me, I decided, Fuck It; I'll just build the whole PC I've been planning on right now.

Except, I wasn't ready. Had to start out with a Ryzen 2400g. Then got an RX580 on sale for $200. This week was when I swapped the Gigabyte B350M DS3H & 2400g for NZXT N7 Z370 & i7 8700k

"Let's leave it as is but let's change it"
- My boss, Dec 2018

*Runs program*

*Nothing happens, no error messages*

Oh boy, this is gonna be fun. A bug with no symptoms.

I know sex is cool but have you ever entered BIOS with only one key press?!

Happened a few weeks ago but still awesome.

Me and a good friend have a website together but we don't monitor it too much.
He studied with me in the same class but went towards frontend/apps where I chose backend/servers/security. He knows how to do basic Linux stuff but that's about it.

We were at a party when he noticed that our site was offline. Walked over to me (because I manage the server) to notify me so I could look into it said I'd look into it (phone):
*visits site: nothing*
*online dig tool: got the server ip*
*remembered this one didn't have pubkey authentication - after three passwords attempts I'm in*

"service apache2 status"
*service doesn't exist*
*right, migrated this one from Apache to nginx....*
"history"
*ah, an nginx restart probably suffices...*
"service nginx restart"

BAM, site is reachable again.

*god damnit, lets encrypt cert expired...*
"history"
*sees command with certbot and our domain both in one*
"!892"
*20 seconds later: success message*
*service nginx reload*

BAM, site works securely again.

"Yo mate, check the site again"

Mate: 😶 w-w-what? *checks site and his watch* you started less than two minutes ago...?
Me: yeah..?
Mate: 😶 now this is why YOU manage our server and I don't 😐

His face was fucking gold. It wasn't that difficult for me (I do this daily) but to him, I was a God at that moment.

Awesome moment 😊

I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye

I worked in the same building as another division in my organization, and they found out I had created a website for my group. They said, “We have this database that was never finished. Do you think you could fix it?”

I asked, “What was it developed in?”
He replied, “Well what do you know?”
I said, “LAMP stack: PHP, MySQL, etc.” [this was over a decade ago]

He excitedly exclaimed, “Yeah, that’s it! It’s that S-Q-L stuff.”

I’m a little nervous at this point but I was younger than 20 with no degree, entirely self-taught from a book, and figured I’d check it out - no actual job offer here yet or anything.

They logged me on to a Windows 2000 Server and I become aware it’s a web application written in VB / ASP.NET 2.0 with a SQL Server backend. But most of the fixes they wanted were aesthetic (spelling errors in aspx pages, etc.) so I proceeded to fix those. They hired me on the spot and asked when I could start. I was a wizard to them and most of what they needed was quite simple (at first). I kept my mouth shut and immediately went to a bookstore after work that day and bought an ASP.NET book.

I worked there several years and ended up rewriting that app in C# and upgrading the server and ASP.NET framework, etc. It stored passwords in plaintext when I started and much more horrific stuff. It was in much better shape when I left.

That job was pivotal in my career and set the stage for me to be where I am today. I got the job because I used the word “SQL” in a sentence.

Weirdest technical interview:

I was applying all over during my last semester in college (before graduating). This place was hiring a PHP developer for their “web store”. My interviewer invited me into her office, pulled out a laptop, and asked if I could walk her through some of the existing code. After I successfully did, she responded with “oh wow, we had no idea it was doing all of that!”.

The main room consisted of 6 folding tables lined with people on desk phones (probably support/sales). When I asked her where I would be working (mostly concerned about not being able to focus over the constant phone calls), she said that I would just share her desk in her office.

Then she asked if I could start the next day, without giving my internship any kind of warning that I’d be quitting so abruptly. She also asked me to start missing class, so I could spend more time at work. Saying things like “if you already have the job, why focus on school?”. When I asked who wrote that code, she told me that it was an out of state contractor that they’re trying to get rid of, because his rates were too high.

I told her that I would need a few days to think about it, which gave me time to call the other places that I had interviewed, but were still waiting to hear back. Luckily, when one of the places heard that I had been offered a job, they decided to rush their hiring process and offered me a job over the phone!

It’s been 6 years, and I am so thankful that I didn’t have to take that sketchy job.

Also a big “fuck you” to whoever decided under any circumstance holding the power button down on a computer case meant anything other than shut this mother fucker all the way down and try the fuck again.

Gahhh. When I hold the power button I don’t what you to sleep, I want you to die! I’m electronically smothering your bitch ass. When I’m holding down the power button to restart, the computer should feel like it’s being waterboarded! Like these may be it’s last moments on Earth if it doesn’t act right and get in compliance! No it’s not nap time, it’s time to shut up or shut down...forever!

assignment: use winAPI to create a "virus" that put itself in autorun and does nothing.

me, a curious student: does the assignment and adds a heap corruption code just as a joke.

after sending the assignment to the teacher I realized that I have sent the real virus.

result: teacher comes next lesson without a computer and stares at me silently and viciously.

we'll see what happens next
any idea on what's going on in his head?

If you’re:
- Always tired
- Feeling lost
- Constantly bored
- Indifferent toward the future
Then it’s time to realize you’re going through life on autopilot without any passion.

Find what you’re passions are and pursue them with everything you have. Stop wasting yourself.

Sooo my friend asked my to become more active on steam and i did something about it! I'm going to be become the most activities steam user!

Sad but true

Knock Knock. Multi-threading. Who's there?

I SWEAR IVE SEEN IT HAPPEN AND IT KILLS ME

🙄🙄😈

!Dev
!myUni

Developers respect other developers xD

Left this at the Apple Store. I bet next time I go it will still be stuck on it 🙄

Did someone find this setting already?