#10yearchallenge

1 . Seen it
2 . Mind blown
3 . Why i didn't thought of that
I loveee the ideea

Current State

Yes, you fucking retards, I will read this article about logging in NodeJS when the cover photo

- Isn't JavaScript
- Isn't about logging

You really seem to know what you're talking about!

One does not simply uninstall visual studio...one has to first update the installer

Simple flowchart XD

Was looking at a Back End Dev job posting and one of the requirements is Photoshop.

.....

PHOTOSHOP

Dear gradle, no offense but I believe Rome took less time to build!

How I feel as a developer...

That moment when

Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

Good news: Today my app reached 1 million daily users. 😃😃😃💰

Bad news: It started out as a side project and my shitty code is not scaling well at all. 🙃

Tinder experience so far

Girl: "hey, what do you do?"

Me: "im a programmer"

Girl:

Me: "and you?"

Girl:

Me: "... hello?"

*Suddenly unmatch*

New paradigm for assembly programming: WYSWNW - what you see will not work

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

1969 vs 2017

So adopting this price list. Like right now.

Our website doesn't look the same on phone and desktop.

Please remove responsivness.

Best joke I have read this week...

client: i want to make an e-commerce site.
.
.
developer: how much are you willing to spend?
client: i'm on a tight budget, as cheap/low as possible.
.
.
web development on a budget y'all :------)

Who is capable of?

Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

WPA2 exploit has been patched

Just saw how Git confirms UTF8-Support... with an UTF8-Character. 👍

Funny picture of web applications.

Lets all help them share their startup

Make it like facebook but better.

We are in 2017! :)

Me: “I want the AWS instance with 2TB of RAM.”

Friend: “What on earth for!?”

Me: “I need to run the Slack client and Chrome at the same time.”

...LOL