Slow Internet connection and people who don't follow the Headphones Rules

Dear javascript frameworks / libraries,

slow. the. fuck. down.

Thank you 🙃

babysitting other devs, pair programming, and devRant.

DO NOT USE LOWERCASE IN SQL, STUPID.

the poor guy wonder why the condition does not work ^^

Time is constant after all. Yes it's from production.

One of the best way to judge a JavaScript developer is 'whether he used === or ==' 😎😋

I'm dreaming to send homework to my C++ programing lecturer full of strange #defines and make the code compilable, runnable and working well
He would feel the black side of cpp😈😈😈

The devRant sticker looks fantastic with the skin 👌🏻

Left my laptop at work... :/ how can I sleep knowing my dear laptop is alone and cold.. feeling sad :(

After spilling coffee on my laptop, and giving it in for servicing (luckily completely covered under warranty), I walked in today to find this one arrived today. I needed cheering up, so thanks!

Hey Google!
Rename Polymer please.
I'm fed up with all the plastic in my search results...

Windows, you were installed yesterday. What the fuck are you updating???

Hahaha.. this is awesome 😂😂

What do Developers at Office do when the internet is down ?
(at mine, we play the dinosaurs game and compete for the highest score.)

Client : Can you make some adblock?
Me : Why? There is a lot of good things already...
C : I mean... Listen carefully.
M : ok
C: i have some google ads and user blocks with adblock
M : yeah, that is normal
C : so i implemented adblock blocker which blocks adblock so that i can show the webpage plus ads when the user disables adblock.
M : i bet users hate that.
C : yeah, so users found out a way to disable adblock blocker which disables adblock blocker which i implemented to show the ads! So i cant earn revenue..
M : so what?
C : Can you make ad block block block block?
M : Sure. How much will you give me ?
C : 20 to 30 dollars
M : great ( the most generous client ever seen)

*couple of years later*

Client : can you make ad block block block block block block block block block block?
Me : i cant understand
C : count the number of block
If there is odd number of block i means to block ads.
If there is even number of block ads, it means to show ads making user to disable ads.
M : so just tldr your request this time
C : even number
M : ok how much will you pay
C : 20 to 30 dollars

*next day*
C : can you..
M : offline

Who in the fucking world made ads, made adblock and made adblock block?

Just sharing my experience of my spontaneous interview with Facebook. I'm not good at writing these but here you go :)

- I was working as an Android dev and didn't have much knowledge in algorithms nor competitive programming, never ever interviewed with big companies.
- a random day on LinkedIn, a recruiter from Facebook contacted me
- I ignored it for few week because I thought it's so out of my league, then somehow, out of blue, I had a thought of giving it a try, so I did
- passed first round
- start studying algorithms a little for phone interview in 3 weeks
- recklessly took the phone interview
- passed
- start studying intensively (while working fulltime) for the on-site interview in 2 months
- almost got the job, they gave me one more chance by a followed up interview
- messed up the last chance real bad
- failed!!!
- Initially I just wanted to give it a try, but the fact that I failed at very very last chance, frankly, bothers me a bit. Maybe I will interview with FB or big companies if I have chance later, but I know for sure that the studying had made me a much better dev. All the code I write now is much more efficient (I think), I can and not anymore afraid of reading complicated code.
- Overall, it does takes a lot of time (~4 months studying while working fulltime), but also benefits myself a lot though I didn't get the job, so basically, good experience, but better if I got the job 😁

Oops, wanted to write a few lines and it's a long post already.. I should stop here :D

Coding nightmare -> the guy who wrote this application I guess wanted job security? At the VERY least to be a pain in the ass to anyone else who touches his code....WHO NAMES THEIR VARIABLES PEOPLE NAMES?!?!? do I know what "Beth" or "Sarah" stand for? ummmm....no 😢

Microsoft 😂😂😂

Once upon a time I was program'n, but then the POTATO GOD said unto me, PROGRAM FASTER MY CHILD. And I did so.

The type of NaN looks like a paradox

A little bit of Lua in my life
A little bit of Java by my side
A little bit JS is all i need
A little bit of bash is what i see
A little bit of JSON in the sun
A little bit of Python all night long
A little bit of TCL here i am
A little bit of this makes me your dev

!Rant
When you realize you can double tap a post to ++ it

Me: I have an input stream!
Library: I want a file.
Me: I can see your code, you will convert it to an input stream! Don't any of your constructors take an input stream?
Library: No. I want a file. Okay, you can also include an encoding.
Me: I don't care about encoding.
Library: Fine, just give me the file then.
Me: You mean I have to somehow convert my input stream into an actual file so I can give it to you?
Library: You're gradually catching on, yes.
Me: Can I add a new constructor myself that takes an input stream?
Library: Sure! Good luck in getting it approved by the maintainers and the new jar distributed everywhere, including Maven Central before your deadline.
Me: Fine, I'll just rearchitect everything so I can give you an actual file.
Library: And then everything will be fine.
Me:

When I started using the console...

Let's do a REST API interface for our webapplication that is incomplete at funcional level!!!

Let's assist people and companies that can't understand what arguments must be passed, even if we don't know too!!!

This is AGILE!!!!

My rubber ducks debugging friends

Dear recruiter.. When calling me, better know what fucking city I live in before wasting my time..

You know that scene in IT Crowd where they thank everyone else but the IT people ... It's as true today as it was then

Believe it or not, my 2nd Hobby is cooking