Hate Ai all you want but this is low key what a lot of us have been waiting for.

I only code as root.
I write sudo code.

Recruiter: hi, I have an iOS Developer role. Would you be interested?

Me: sure, send me on the spec.

Recruiter: ok great so for this Full stack app developer role we are looking for someone with:

- 5+ years embedded C/C++ experience
- 5+ years of working with Windows and Linux
- Native Android development
- As well as Native iOS experience

Interested?

Me: ......... ok buddy, you and me are going to have a little chat about what “iOS Developer” means

I hate windows :(

I was a foreign language student, but i didn't like the way my work-life was going (I had a lot of difficulties tryng to find a job).

So I decided to start programming... It appears i'm still studying "languages".

Is my life a joke?

I just pressed CTRL + W to close a rant, but I was reading on my phone so I closed a browser tab on my computer instead.

deal with oop.

because they made it waaaaay more complicated than it needs to be.

Indian clients know software development better than that 10 year experienced developer.

Being able to peek into the future up to 1 hour, once a day.
Useful for debugging purposes.

Coffee

Found this in my programmer's code. Can I claim temporary insanity when they find his corpse?

My internship's sprint evaluation is in 2 hours, project is fucked and team is a band of baboons also i am the presenter and lead dev of the project.

Hows your tuesday going?

Thanks for putting a 2 hour long meeting at 6 pm boss.

Ctrl + C
Ctrl + V

Oh Godd!!!!

Ok, so....WTF?!?!?!!!

Damn it! I just spent an hour debugging something and it was due to a copy-paste error.

Copy paste hell. Bah.

I’m new here and am amazed at how awesome everyone is! Thanks for being you!

Thank you windows update and Lenovo for trying to update my bios and failing in the process.

Now this computer that doesn’t even show bios. Fucking bitch ass pieces of shit.

Stay the fuck away from my bios windows, you shit eating trash of an os.

Found this somewhere and started crying

---Me coding away---

ESLint: Hey...

ESLint: Hey... don't-

ESLint: No I think-

Me: Not now bro! This is fine, I need to get this done.

---Months later I go back to clean some things up and I look to see what ESLint has to say----

ESLint:

I will only sign up for TikTok if Microsoft successfully buys it, then rebrands it as something like Microsoft Audio/Video Social Gallery 2020 (Community Edition)

Sorry, your password is taken

Real Incident (India)
So, this one time, out of the Blue, my engineering manager said "Let's, Shit together sometime."

I was like "Yeah, Sure. Sounds like a great Idea."

**-(Wondering why am I always so Agreeable to her 😒)

She has a bit of an accent and I realised she actually meant "Sit".

What a bummer!!! I was really looking for some intimacy, not the ideal way, but, it was something nonetheless.

Ha!
Back to the Screen, now!

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Oh please it's weekend. Don't call me or message me, especially if it's not urgent 😡 My contract doesn't include selling my soul.

I manage one of the shittiest parts of the codebase in the company. I spent the last couple of months rewriting and refactoring and optimizing without being asked so i can make my life easier and earn some good employee points.

Last Tuesday I got a call from the CTO, he was like "i love what you did but i think changing the language used for that would be cool so i rewrote some of it in Node, lets finish it up together and use the version of it in node from now on."

Started learning Android development in Kotlin.
My first impressions:
- Kotlin is good, but class syntax is not very appealing
- Overall it seems to be quite easy, at least the basic stuff
- Android Studio is a fucking memory hog, RIP my RAM
- As good IntelliJ is as bad is Android Studio somehow
- Emulator seems to be really advanced which I like

Who has geek/nerd friend. I never had but want to have at least one ...

Every edgy jobless person feel like...