At first I thought fml means fuck my life but, it turns out, it means fuck machine learning.

Being a developer

Are you a double? The thought of you always floats inside my head.

Happy TGIF guys

Met a prostitute recently...

Email. Fuck everything about it.

It's an obnoxious queue of messages I somehow must handle. And everyone in society expects you to have email. You can cancel your phone number, maybe even live without a house... but every hobo still must check their email.

It is an endless shitstream of things I don't want. Like a garden with some nice tomato plants, but then a really smelly weed starts invading and no matter what you do it keeps coming back.

I don't want to login to unsubscribe. I don't care about your "notifications center", or "managing the offers you receive from us".

And then your boss asks you to design an email campaign... I don't want to receive that shit, why would our customers? And even if I agreed with using email as a communication channel... YOU THOUGHT CSS IN INTERNET EXPLORER WAS A BITCH?

No really. Fuck email. Fuck everything about it.

❤️

A university that teaches students
C++ without teaching an understanding of memory management is pointerless.

Hey guys...this is my current Ubuntu GNOME desktop . What do you guys think ???

This one's going up in the cubicle

Life's moto

I need a vim plugin for everything, tired of writing :w everywhere.

When I don't know what a technology is about, I type it's name into Google search followed by 'vs'.
Google then suggest similar stuff, which helps me understand what I'm looking at.

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

"Programming is like writing a book... except if you miss a single comma on page 156 the whole thing makes no damn sense" - unknown

I actually clicked past this, as per habit, before I reacted. Best EULA I've ever seen!

(In case anyone doesn't know: "Lorem ipsum" is a nonsense place holder text mostly used to try out layouts.)

Me: will you be my date this valentine's day?

Her: What? No ways!!

Me: sudo will you be my date this valentine's day?

Her: Hell ya !! 😘
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Me: *wakes from sleep* Damnit, wish I could sudo everything!!😓