I'm gonna resume work on my library, and i'm about retest the theory that you program better if you are a bit tipsy.

Didn't know that there is an "Android for toilet" version :D

I hacked this mini-project yesterday night, Computer generated photo-montage by scenes extracted from the movie.
It's an end to end python script which will work for any video and a high res poster.

I'm in love. ❤️

Cloud strategies for different platforms

Found this in the underground going home from work

The easiest way to trigger any developer

Got this from facebook
@Sarah'sScribbles

Why are the fastest laptops always considered "gaming" laptops and look like fucking alien spaceships? 😩

They're ugly as fuck

The nub nub still hasn't mastered the art of the button 😂

My life with JavaScript 😂😭

My first hot reload using Flutter.

Dart is actually pretty sweet!!!

I started working in a company where they use scala/akka stack, that requires a huge amount of hw resources to compile and debug, so my boss bought me a new laptop: a MacBook Pro. I came from a Dell with Linux Fedora, and now:
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR COMPUTERS ARE SO SHITTY
JUST EXPLAIN ME WHY THE FUCKING KEYBOARD IS SO A PIECE OF SHIT WITH THE FUCKING COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU MAC OS WITH YOUR SHITTY POLICIES YOU CAN'T INSTALL THIS PROGRAM BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO ENABLE UNKNOWN RESOURCES
FUCK YOU BREW AND BREW CASK WHAT THE FUCK OF TWO SHOULD I USE
FUCK THE STUPID TOUCHBAR I WANT THE FUCKING ESC, DELETE, F1, F2 AND SO ON
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR MAC IS FRAGILE AS FUCK I CAN'T THROW THAT FROM THE FIFTH FLOOR OF MY BUILDING LIKE A THINKPAD
FUCK YOU SAFARI THAT YOU DON'T REFRESH THE PAGE WITH F5

I have a small gif for you just to explain how much shitty is Mac OS

BETA USER: Is this feature working? When I add a link I get an error that says "URL cannot be more than 255 characters."

ME (biting my tongue): Hi ****, Yes it works. The link you're trying to add is too long. Please try a shorter URL.

BETA USER: Oh, it should tell you that!

😳🤪🤬

As a child:
Look Ma, no training wheels!

As an adult:
Look Ma, no mouse!

Confessions of a Programmer

#1
If a client is an unbearable asshole during the initial communication, I look for every excuse to pad on the hours for the estimate to get paid more. If a client goes above and beyond in their douchbaggery, I tack on an additional $40/hour.

#2
Sometimes I will present an elaborate solution to a client, but really I'm just reading off the features of a plugin or library I'm going to download or buy after the call. Not because I can't build it myself, but because I'd rather spend more time on other/my own projects.

#3
Clients assume because I know one language, I know them all. Rather than turning down the work, I take a crash course to work in that language, or outsource the work and clean it up afterwards, whichever is more practical at the time.

#4
I use cPanel on a dedicated to manage our client websites. I'm not paid enough to bother with setting up everything manually.

#5
Certain projects I build have a 3-day backdoor built into it. If the client doesn't pay upon completion, a unique hash triggered as a GET variable deletes a core file in my work, rendering the work useless. If it wasn't triggered by the 4th day, the file allowing me to trigger this backdoor is removed. This is only used for clients where the project must be launched on their servers, or if there has been a previous issue collecting payment.

#6
I slip in the initial contract that all preceeding phone calls will be monitored and recorded, and that they acknowledge the recordings are admissable in court. This has saved me from losing money twice now.

#7
I have never used an IDE. (I know, I know, it's really inefficient and dumb, but I'm just more comfortable with Sublime. Plus I often find myself mobile and without my computer, so I have to program from my phone.)

#8
Each day resembles a betting spectacle of which work will be late, which will be rushed out and which will never see the light of day.

#9
I have used "sick" and "family emergency" as an excuse to just sleep in far more than I can count.

#10
When a client from hell crosses over the line in their conduct (such as getting very nasty and personal, or sending threats), I anonymously report them to the BBB and on RipOffReport.

QA: feature not working
Me: Clear the browser cache
QA: it's working now
Me: 😎

After 1 year I have finally quit my sysadmin job!

Got my first dev job as a fullstack node.js dev!!!!

4 years of IT boredom is finally over!

WOOHOOO!
😎😁

I feel sorry for my teacher. Seeing him desperated to get simple programming answers from his students seems unreachable and I don’t want to be the only one that answers his questions

Fighting what I call "FTS" (Fuck This Shit) syndrome.

Most of my mistakes or challenges caused to my future self can be attributed to succumbing to FTS.

Pretty much sums up my experience...

This is really annoying. My single manual test takes 10 minutes to run. Can't blame the task because its big, can't blame me, code optimization is not necessary and won't speed anything up. So here writing a rant waiting for it to finish

Coding and debugging in js