It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

What does dfox say ?

DEV, DEV, DEV, DEV ,DEV, DEV
RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT

When the question was "regex or regexp?"

Boss emailed me that I need to work again on Saturday and Sunday.
I replied with a resignation letter.

Dear Apple.

Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.

Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.

LaTeX for life.

Using RegEx for the greater good...

The struggle is real

Priority...

Testing my System ..?

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

We've been there before

Never seen anything like this before.

Software which is not open source...

Interviewer: So you worked with mysql?

Me: yes, for over 6 years

Interviewer: so, you know how to write queries?

This was written as a joke, but it's probably true 😛

@the intern who refactors my code to classes: you are the real MVC

I... I mean MVP

My friend just started RUBY.
He read somewhere " Ruby is used commonly in rails ".

He now thinks RUBY is for programming trains and station related stuff.

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

Winning a stress ball with winning a stress ball with a stress ball.

I don't know how you freelancers and contractors do it.

HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.

** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.

Got this shirt today 😎 super happy and excited 🤓 I am definitely going to wear this one tomorrow 😀

> Customer calls
Her: I have over 5k 404 request to [insertwebsite]/autodiscover/autodiscover.xml
Me: Sound like a missconfigured exchangeserver/client. Let me have a look.
> Takes a look and can confirm the IP and the owner of that IP
Me: It looks like someone/something from xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is failing to resolve autodiscover.[insertdomain].com
and defaults to @ record on the zone. Do you happend to know to whom that IP belongs?
Her: No, and I dont care, just block it. I do not like the 404 that shows up on the summary.
Me: Alright
> Blocks the IP in the firewall.

>>> Fast forward to next day >>>

> Someone calls, it is the same girl
Her: I cant reach my website! Infact, I cant reach anything! WHYYYYYY!!!
> I remember, blocking that IP yesterday...
Me: Oh, can you please visist "minip.se" (whatismyip.com, swedish version) and tell me what you see?
Her: Yes, it is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
Me: Do you remember that IP that you request that I block yesterday?
> I can hear the shame coming from the phone.
> Turn out that her collegues did'nt have any mail delivered to them from the time I blocked their IP
> Her boss is really mad
> Atleast she had a cute voice

If money is lost,
Nothing is lost.

If health is lost,
Something is lost.

If CHARACTER is lost
8 bits are lost.

Sitting on the bus updating my system.
Random girl: What are you using?
Me: Linux :).
Random girl: Ohh I use Mac, because that doesn't have viruses and can't get hacked!

*me waiting for a cliff to jump off*

Sitting on the bus updating my system.
Random girl: What are you using?
Me: Linux :).
Random girl: Ohh I use Mac, because that doesn't have viruses and can't get hacked!

*me waiting for a cliff to jump off*

I used to think I was gonna be a Steve Jobs or a Bill Gates. Now I just fap and cry.

A normal day in slack.

I have been working on a project I call Pipelines. The idea behind the project is that it will be a centralized dashboard for you to receive Webhooks on. [more details]