... I have no words...

So someone started down voting all my rants 😐

People gotta start understanding this!

When you want to code an app, but don't even know for what.

my desk ...

You know you're a programmer when you camelcase your hashtags. #becauseClarity

100% test coverage on a new feature? fuck yea!

*You can't make this shit up*

Recruiter: Hi, I saw your profile on LinkedIn and I think I have a great programmer opportunity for you today! Can you tell me a little bit about your experience?

Me: Sure, I mostly work with JavaScript and C# and have several years of experience in designing, developing, and deploying enterprise-level applications in production environments.

Recruiter: Hmm, um OK. Have you ever created programs using InDesign or Microsoft Word?

Me: Excuse me?

Recruiter: You know, anything like pamphlets or event brochures?

Me: Are you talking about physical paper programs such as those that accompany events/conferences?!

Recruiter: Yes! What else would I be taking about?

Me: I'm in the software development industry, so I thought you were talking about programming in that context.

Recruiter: Oh no! Those positions are for the men, sweety. I mean, I wouldn't expect any women to know that other techy stuff...

*Hangs up*

Real story

When your PM wants you to write Stored Procedures to interface with a data model that hasn't been implemented because "We're agile"😑

No, I'm not going to approve your one-line fix. It will introduce more problems in the future. Fix it the way we agreed on this morning!

Developers who think spaces are better than tabs.

Seriously every editor other than Notepad lets you set how many spaces a tab is equal to. Stop trying to force your stupid 2 space tabs on me.

PM: production's throwing NPE
Dev: redeploy till it works
😎

Effect of documentation!!!

"When you have a problem you can't solve, just google it. If you don't find another person that has encountered the same problem/error as you, you're doing something wrong."

- Software Engineering teacher, 2016

"Ask a PM to exit vim"

*can't figure out why code doesn't work for hours*
ugh fuck this.
*angrily leaves for bathroom break*
*come running back*
I KNOW HOW TO FIX IT!!!!