This is what I call a quick fix.

If (searchTerm == "coronavirus") {
return null;
}

Debugging on production server be like

Senior Developer

Well what the fuck. Life just won't stop with the dick punches this year.

To recap: My wife had me arrested on bs charges. While i was in jail, she packed her shit and left. She filed a restraining order, which i fought in court amd won. I have visitation with my daughter every other saturday and every Monday. I lost my apartment because she left, so I'm homeless. Living in my car.

Today, I was fired from my job of 6 years. Fuck me.

God saved my soul...

I would like to take a moment to thank my brain.

I dreamed about the code I need to write to create something I was struggling with! Logically it all make sense!

Just needs to try it and see how it goes.

Thank you Brain!

An SQL Query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up and asks, 'Can I Join You?'

Things I hear when people find out, that i cant see red and green well...

99% WHAT COLOR IS THIS PEN?
1% Oh, well, ok...
FFS ppl ITS ANNOYING!

This guy does not give a fuck. I like him.

Fuck life... No seriously fuck life...
This shit better end ASAP

It's Friday!

SO. FUCKING. TIRED. Deadline looming. Burnt out. To everyone else just starting their daily grind: Have a good day.

Java 😂😂😂

Subtle irony:

Tons of people rant about how bad PHP is on devRant.

devRant's is built using PHP.

Love it

I just found out devRant was written in php. But I thought on devRant everybody hates php..?

Ok ok, PHP is the best!! Ok?

Presenting my paper on PHP Security in IEEE conference today... Wish me luck. I hope it gets published 😃🤞

Eternal confusion.

Me when viewing a line of PHP where the previous developer add "sleep(5)" to an Ajax endpoint with the comment "Sleep for 5 seconds so the ajax loading icon is visible to users".

FML.

// sometimes I feel my compiler ignores all my comments :(

Gave aways some servers today.
They had 128GB RAM and 24 cores.

I am happy actually, thoose kids is going to learn stuff and hopefully they they choose IT in the future

Yesterday was the first time I worked at the office during weekend.. Was really silent which was nice!

!rant

Boss: I need to talk to you.
Me: Something wrong?
Boss: No, just need to talk.
(Not sure what to think)

Meet with boss, first thing he does is shake my hand and proceeds to tell me thank you for all the work you or in on the last project. On tomorrow in addition to your paycheck $1K after taxes will be deposited into your account.

#feeling very appreciated

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Girlfriend = zero productivity!

I like to work at night! When I can hear myself think. Girlfriend is jealous of my code! Argues with me to come to bed and then I lose my inspiration.