Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:

Me: "Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"

My headphones just died because the battery is empty!
Not a good start!
I forgot the cable at home!

Bye bye peace, productivity, and focus

Manager: Write a function to get tomorrow's date.

Kids:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
return getCurrentDate() + 1;
}

Legends:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
sleep(1000*60*60*24);
return getCurrentDate();
}

Floppy disks are like Jesus
They died to become the icon of saving

90s - We will use AI to cure cancer in the future..
2017 -

Even though I don't like Java that much 😂

"You look mad."
"I'm running android studio on 4gb."
"What does that mean?"
"God hates me.."

Coding at its finest

can't stop laughing on this...lol

All we know someone who tried to versioning with Drive or OneDrive

What if it's the PHP programmers who say that PHP sucks for eliminating all the competitors

Who is capable of?

I don't care about money, girls, fancy cars, big houses, fame...

I want stars on my GitHub repo

When a web developer visits a porn website...

Always

From a co-worker:
That feeling of fear, when you gave your girlfriend the password to your PC, and after a few days she asks you "what's up with that 'sudo' thingy you type in all the time?"...

Recently here....

Website: We use cookies ar.....
Me: Get lost I will never share my cookies.

Playing 'Skip-Bo' with my daughter.
She: "Why isn't there a zero in this game? You know...0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...."

MY daughter ❤️.

Why would you even do this? People don't read these anyways...

Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.

Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

He turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.

"At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."

Double tapping on a rant little slowly opens the rant activity twice.
Happens when I try to ++ a rant by double tapping. @dfox

I have to admit I didn't expect that...

"Join GitHub"
"I'm not gonna join some sketchy, off brand porn site" - friend

What do you guys do on off time? More code? Gaming?

I mostly spend weekends with my girlfriend and away from code. Helps clear my head for the coming week.

Ranting after 15 hard days. Recovering well and hard. It is good to be back with your people.

YouTube TV changelog:

He's got a valid point

Dev stickers are for loosers.

No for real， just received the new computer i ordered . i hear my daughter scream something from the other side of the house.

I thought she said:“is this your new computer?”

But actuaylly she said: “can i put stickers on you new computer???”

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔