Never get high on your own supplies

Aww Adobe😝

If programmers were doctors.

Doctor A: the patient is having heart attack
Doctor B: we have to reproduce the heart attack to be able to heal him
Doctor C: why dont we just remove the hesrt and install a new heart
Doctor D: human heart are bad, maybe we should use animal heart

The first time I see a train info thing running on linux. Usually they run on windows Xp. Feat. my green shirt.

HAHAHAHAHA

Really cat...

OMG ever since I started to love Haskell, all nonfunctional languages look ugly, I am getting worse at writing procedural code!

Wait what? Nude.js is already a thing?
Yeah great, I'm not allowed to be a creative perv anymore.
Just great.

Yeah fuck you too.

It seems like our classroom's computer has been shot multiple times...

Sorry for the image quality.

😐😐😐

!rant
The change log from notepad++ update. The last paragraph is the cream!

" The issue of a hijacked DLL concerns scilexer.dll (needed by Notepad++) on a compromised PC, which is replaced by a modified scilexer.dll built by the CIA. When Notepad++ is launched, the modified scilexer.dll is loaded instead of the original one.
It doesn't mean that CIA is interested in your coding skill or in your sex message content typed in Notepad++, but rather it prevents raising any red flags while the DLL does data collection in the background.

It's not a vulnerability/security issue in Notepad++, but for remedying this issue, from this release (v7.3.3) forward, notepad++.exe checks the certificate validation in scilexer.dll before loading it. If the certificate is missing or invalid, then it just won't be loaded, and Notepad++ will fail to launch.

Checking the certificate of DLL makes it harder to hack. Note that once users’ PCs are compromised, the hackers can do anything on the PCs. This solution only prevents from Notepad++ loading a CIA homemade DLL. It doesn't prevent your original notepad++.exe from being replaced by modified notepad++.exe while the CIA is controlling your PC.

Just like knowing the lock is useless for people who are willing to go into my house, I still shut the door and lock it every morning when I leave home. We are in a f**king corrupted world, unfortunately. "

Lately I hear talking about vue.js and redux and I wanted to learn them. Now I'm realizing what's their future. Thank you StackOverflow

Here's a hardware rant

App has dark theme. Loading screen is bright white. RIP my eyes

Every Dev vacancy should be like this and I mean EVERY! weed out the fucking posers

solve this?

Today I started work on a new project that contains a lot of legacy. I asked the developers about unit testing javascript and was told that not only is there none in place, but it's not worth adding any in.

At first, I grimaced and thought fair enough. This is their codebase, it's their choice. I've now been thinking about this for a few hours and have instead decided that screw those guys, I'm adding in a testing framework, a module pattern that's compatible with the existing code, and unit testing the crap out of it. If they don't want it they can refactoring it out, but I can't bring myself to intentionally deliver code I know is crap.

I WILL FORCE CODE QUALITY ON THEM.

When you talk to your friends about an great App idea.

Asked my co-worker if he had made a class to use for ftp connections.

He said he had.

This is what I found. FFS @michal78!

Well I'll be damned if this isn't classic Microsoft feedback. (sorry for blurriness, had to upscale)

So my friend who was a working as Tech/System Intern and soon to be junior sysadmin asked me "How was pinging 127.0.0.1 successfull? I am not even connected to the internet?"

"We don't have time for writing tests"
"Yeah we could write them but only if the client paid us for that"
"You can just test new features manually!"

- Most devs of our mobile team.

Every day they're fighting with bugs and when they're fixed, a couple more pop out of nowhere.

Dear god help me.

Developer (master's degree, -bleeping- smart guy, no kidding) was bragging on how he made a piece of code 3x faster (with the usual pinch that the original dev was incompetent) and spent nearly 6 weeks working on it (wrote his own parallel-foreach library because Microsoft's parallel library was "too slow").
I was the original dev and he didn't know I had my own performance counters where I broke down each stack (database access, network I/O, and the code logic).
Average time was around 5ms (yes milliseconds) and worst case was around 10 seconds. His '3x improvement' was based on the worst test case, which improved by about a second. Showed our boss my graph (laughed out loud, said 'WTF', other curse words) and the dev hasn't spoken to me in weeks (I say 'hi' in the hall and he keeps walking)
Take that master's degree and high IQ and shove it.

Someone posted a rant referencing a story out of The Pragmatic Programmer about "duck debugging". I've leveled up with a duck.

That feeling when lead dev hid a couple of really secret bugs for you, and then left for vacation... *cough* @BinaryProvider 😉

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? VISUAL STUDIO STOPPED RESPONDING AND THEN BLUE SCREENED ME!!!? AND NOW THIS?!?!!?

HXJEIDHFHISJSHDIFHEIDH

Apple be a crazy <put your slang here>

someone pushes code and breaks ci.
me: you broke the build
her: (ignoring the explicit error message) it works on my machine, travis is broken
me: it doesn't even work on my machine!
her: I forgot to push one file, sorry.