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Details

Skills

Nevermind
Location

India

Joined devRant on 5/14/2016

157

Last monday I just ask my boss to add our intern number to office group

joke/meme office group

9
139

Front-end dev: email domains other than Gmail and Hotmail exist?!1! 😱 And email regex, what the hell is that? 😵

rant

30
163

when working over 100 hours a week forces you to become mentally insane

rant

12
48

Morning pick me up

joke/meme

5
232

- Girl: I don't understand how some people can be so foolish and decide to study computer science.

- Me: Hm, true. So what did you study?

- Girl: Tourism and sports science. And you?

- Me: Nothing. I'm a truck driver.

rant first date lies wk143

18
411

It's a merge conflict

joke/meme merge github gitlab push merge conflicts git pull

10
43

When you love python too much..

joke/meme coding python meme

4
336

When you realize that you're googling an error message you've implemented yourself

rant debugging confused coding tired

2
309

I'd do this soon to piss the professor off

joke/meme nice

26
171

The room automation (light, doors, music) of a "smart" Hotel owned by our company is still being processed by an API that runs on one of my ex-colleagues local machine. It has now officially been declared as a "server" and everyone just hopes it keeps working.

rant wk134

8
44

I always thought Android studio is worst until I used XCode

rant

9
34

LSD helps.

rant wk129

12
488

Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

rant wk123

12
162

Coworker in my team recently said to boss:

"Thanks, this conversation with you has taught me so much about single-threaded blocking I/O"

Some random PR comments from our company's repository:

"Are you insured? I hope you are insured"

"Learning git is not that difficult. You only need one command: git reset --hard"

*Link to amazon for dog poop bags*
"Please clean up your shit, before I step in it"

"Have you thought about a career in sales? At least there you might sell your bullshit"

rant wk123

2
324

Boss: You'll need to make the presentation an hour earlier than usual. There'll be 20 people attending..

Me: Sure. Will everyone show up?

Boss: Oh yes, they'll show up.

*Reschedules other work at home*
*Gets 4 hours of sleep to wake up earlier*
*Prepares material*

*Shows up for the meeting 5 minutes earlier*

*Crickets chirp*

There literally wasn't a single person there. Everyone shows up at the normal fucking time and good old boss was 2 fucking hours late.

Guess what the presentation was for? To solve the fucking issue of why stuff never gets done on time and nothing works right. I think I might have a tiny fucking idea why, at this point.

rant fucking meeting

9
329

How to calculate walking distance

Km/m/inch ❌
3 songs ✔️

random

37
273

I had to add a "I'm not a robot" checkbox to protect an email address written in a page reachable only from our intranet. Boss asked, I executed.

rant wk118 useless dumb request

7
314

My doggo and my daughter...

joke/meme javascript library another javascript stuff

16
15

your brain is missing a ; somewhere...

your <body> so fat it's weight is 4096px

your dick is so small it's height:"1px"

Please use <br> or I don't understand you.

joke/meme wk123
276

*click "Empty Recycle Bin"*
*removing 134.389 files. Time remaining: about 15 minutes*
Me: What the fuck is happening?!
*open Recycle Bin*
*see there is 3 node_modules folder*
Me: oh, okay sorry. Thats pretty normal.

rant windows nodejs node_modules

16
392

“If everyone is admin, no one is admin and this is communism” - Our DBA

rant dba lmfao

12
499

No questions asked

joke/meme joke python rant code programmer

14
404

Wait... Why didn't anyone thought about that?

joke/meme captcha kidding tho😁 joke but will be useful traffic sign stolen memes self driving cars

14
65

It was just kidding 😂💔

joke/meme ai to overtake humanity soon

2
161

Overheard from a sales call (involving web templates):

"Sometimes I really don't get our devs. They come up with all these ridiculous meaningless acronyms for everything, and yet they go mental if you dare shorten Javascript to Java."

rant

11
328

I've never had a great experience working with designers, but this one might be the laziest! Props if it's for a friend and unpaid though.

random

15
1169

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

rant

68
650

1. Buy boxes of orange juice, almost past their expiry date.
2. Put boxes on the hot office windowsill for a few weeks.
3. Cool down juice in fridge.
4. "Hey dear coworker, would you like a refreshing juice box on this hot spring day?"
5. Watch coworker retch and vomit, spitting blue-grayish juice over his desk, crying: "Why would you give me old moldy juice without checking the date?"
6. "Do you remember when you told me you didn't have time for unit tests? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, DAVE, THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEPLOY UNTESTED CODE.... NOW FINISH YOUR JUICE!"

rant

32
61

LinkedIn Manager to Satya Nadella: ‬

‪LM: Hey, how are you doing? At Linkedin we need to buy Github accounts. ‬

‪SN: Just a min... Yes. We bought Github for $7.5 billion. ‬

‪LM: Dude, we need github account for our developers. It’s just $21/user.‬

‪SN: WTF🤦🏻‍♂️

joke/meme acquisition github deal microsoft

2
57

3.21% of the world uses IE.

0% of India uses IE.

Never before have I been so proud of my country.

joke/meme india ie

7

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