When you install eclipse instead of IntelliJ

Internet Explorer.

Printers.

*deep breath*

*scream*

I started counting at 0

How to make sure your users appreciate your work

How?
Is it a test?

That feeling when your program doesn't work but you somehow managed to do this.

Savage!!! (-Programming Geeks)

Who needs Legacy Code to f*ck up your day when you can't understand the code you wrote 2 weeks ago

Please guys, stop with this ++ spam. Earn your ++ on the right way and not with a post "Guys come on ++ every comment in this thread."

It's like leveling and in the end when you look at it, it's pointless just to decor your avatar.

You're just cheating yourself.

Sure there are always some exploits in a system, but are u really sure you wanna beg for ++?

I joined devRant to share my storys and every ++ I get, I know that somebody likes my story or agrees with me. And maybe he/she shares a comment with me, that's what makes me truly happy and that's why I really love this community. 😘

I think someone in the finance department had to create an ad

😂😂

I guess my brain needs more processing power, or better recovery times?

‪How to get your Jira ticket resolved:‬

‪1: Assign in it the person‬
‪2: Mention him on the ticket‬
‪3: Remember the ticket number ‬
‪4: Sneak into his office‬
‪5: ‬

Just reached 100+!!

Anyhow. I started coding prettymuch 365 days ago. My mate decided to launch his company and figured it was a good idea to start it with good friends who knew fuck all at coding.

Fyi, the dude can code 15 hours straight everyday for about a year (no shit thats what i saw).

Since he taught me html css javascript(even if i still suck abit at js). He made me remake the whole bootstrap in react by adding this new lib styled-components and test everything(95% coverage :)).

He also taught me webpack and rollup. Json schma forms，http requests redux， redux logic， and all the routing shit...he obliged me to i plement RR4 on release and is now making me overlook the merge requests of my other collegue (yes he made me a git pro，almost).

And now i have to work long distance by studying java， spring， oauth2 and start working on our api.

O yeah，and i went from microsoft to full on linux!!!

To be honest i thought i was gonna die this year. (Also have a kid on the way :)).

Devrant has been like going to the psychologist :) everytime shit hit the fan i realized every one has the same problems :)

Thanks to the community i can also now even give out nerd jokes :)

(L)Devrant

Rant to myself: Don't try to be too smart, you dipshit!

3 weeks ago I packed 2 small changes in one commit, because I was sure (and obviuosly lazy) that no one will ever need these special changes separate.

Guess what happened today? Right, I had to make a change on an old version and needed the one half of this commit.
Cherry-picking ended up in changes I don't need and furthermore some nice collisions.

Thank you very much, past me, for saving 2 minutes 3 weeks ago, which now wastes half an hour.

Why didn't I comment my code?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

** few years ago **
Other team: "There's a lot of overlap and misclassification between issue categories A and B; We want to merge them into one in our taxonomy"
Me: These are very different issues and have very different root causes. Shouldn't we fix the definitions instead? We don’t have major drivers for B now but if we remove it, it might bite us in year or two.
** loads of back and forth, and eventually B gets killed

** year and a quarter passes
Executive meeting: “So you’re telling us we can’t properly quantify the impact of B because we can’t distinguish A from B. It looks very clear cut to me why don’t we have split for these already and how long will it take to implement it?”
Me: Biting my tongue not to throw anyone under a bus.

!rant

Random question.. at what point can one say that they "know" a programming language? 🤔

My CEO: "So! You are the new guy we hired to design and manage the implementation of our new state of the art super-duper fancy ERP solution with badass Business Intelligence systems to grow our company which already spans over several localities across the county, that has to live for at least the next 12-15 years?

Please remember that the Windows Server in the rack in the basement needs replacement soon, and that our new fancy solution must not in any way utilize cloud-technology or SaSS! I don't like that! I think it's a scam! We store everything on premises, own our infrastructure and we buy our software...Because I think that is best!"

Me: "So... let me get this straight: You want me to build you a one-off, concept sports car that can outperform a Lamborghini using only plywood, duct-tape and a donkey cart?"

He walked off... I may need a new job next week!

*me searching for jobs*
*types in 'junior backend developer'*

First result:
Junior Frontend Developer.

*big facepalm*

Yeah I understand that it might just be some kinda algorithm that filters on words or whatever but the irony was real!

So true

Sure I would love to meet null and beat the fucking crap out of him 🤣🤣🤣

Never understood why people bloody love their code. It's good to be happy about it, but
beats the zest for refactoring or any other sort of improvement.
Took me an hour to explain a senior dev why his changes introduced bugs in build.

Literally landed to the point reverting his commit and demonstrating the damn build to work.
To which he replies what if the data is corrupt
Damn it's not the data, it's your bloody senses.

I hate my job. I am furious at my colleagues.

Last November I asked my colleagues (A and B) to help me learn to use something, let's call it Tool. They said okay and set a date for training. Next week they said that they had too much work to do so we'll​ have to postpone. And the next date was also postponed and the next one too, and so on.

Three months in,​ colleague C kept dicking around and being a complete jackass telling me that he refused to work with me for I don't use the Tool.
Not like I didn't want to learn to use the Tool, I simply couldn't. I have long before googled how to use the Tool but in no way can Google ever tell me about our own company workflow, our methods, habits and such.

I was furious, but I am also a the most fucking patient person ever so I let it slide. The Tool wasn't actually needed that much to do my job anyways. And I have known for a while that colleague C needed to push someone under him to feel good about himself.

A few more dates had been set but got cancelled for reasons.
Meanwhile both A and B started to look down on me for not knowing how to use the Tool. I started to feel depressed.

Today B held a "workshop" about the Tool. It took two hours. He was not prepared, had a hangover and generally had a hard time concentrating.
He used aliases that he set up only for himself to show the usage of the Tool instead of commands that a beginner would understand (or google). He kept mumbling and I hsd trouble understanding him. His lecture lacked direction and was all over the place.

I am devastated and furious. I had been waiting since November for this training and when the time actually came he pulled something out of his ass and called it a workshop.

I didn't even get answers for my questions.

Now I feel that I am actually in a worse position than before because while I still cannot use the Tool, they can tell me that there was a workshop and I should've paid closer attention.

I want to quit so bad.

Ok I have 2 more hours to work today. I bet I will get these 3 important things done.

*important email comes in*
*laptop runs out of batery*
*client finally calls back after 4 weeks*
*data structure has to be reorganized urgently due to new requirements*

After dealing with all of that, I close all windows in order to go home. The last window is the thing I wanted to do in the first place.

I'm not really one for news, but apparently (a while ago) there was some 12 year old who taught himself to code and made his own apps and whatnot. Girlfriend informed me of this.

Just got told that I'm a useless piece of shit because Im 23 and don't develop apps and I'm not rich like this kid. Fuck man. I develop mostly server side software, and I personally fucking wrote half the shit the company uses. No one really knows, so naturally in the silent developer. Don't much care about that. But fuck, being told I'm useless because a 12 year old has more money than me really made me take one straight to the balls. Now I'm sitting here, moping, downloading android studio, and just going to prove a person wrong. I can fucking code an app, it's not that hard.

Should have just said fuck off, but I don't have the strength and effort to face flying cups anymore.

Android sdk, here I come.

Do you have a spare usb phone cable?
I have but I'm using it to charge my phone

Do you have a spare laser pointer for my presentation?
Sorry, I don't

Do you have a spare mouse?
No :)

Sometimes things become a little weird

Do you have a spare keyboard?
No sorry. :/

Do you have a spare monitor?
:/

Do you have a spare computer?
what?

Do you have a spare mac?
>:(

Do you have two spare computers and one printer for each? Would be nice for the conference that we are going to hold tomorrow if someone need to print.
What's wrong with you people. I'm just a developer, not a fucking warehouse

Needed to download all my music from Google music, their download manager is crap (on ubuntu)

Decided to use their API, found a gem that works perfectly. Started downloading it.

Told my GF how I wanted to code something cool but gound someone else did, her response:

So why doesn't google make something ?
Me:They did, but it sucks in linux, and they have their API's which work fine.

And how are normal people supposed to make it work then?
Me: well it works, jut have to install this and run the CLI with.... wait.. am I not normal?

I guess we are not normal in the eyes of some people.

!rant source: LinkedIn;
Yesterday I met with a potential client who wanted a website. I gave him a quote of X. He said, do this work for X/2 as I have lots of projects and I can keep you engaged for months.

If it was 2 years ago, I'd have happily accepted his proposal. But in the past 2 years I have learned this lesson hard way. Don't work for clients who don't pay well, because when a developer is not paid enough, the quality of work degrades. Hence the portfolio is degraded and so the future projects are also of low budget.

And before you know it, you will be surrounded by low paying clients who see you as a Skilled Labour.

Today, I don't negotiate, not even a single dollar. To justify my cost I make sure that no stones are left unturned while delivery.

It's better to work for 10 hours a week for 40$/hr then to work 40 hours a week for 10$/hr.