Headquarters...

Expectation vs Reality..😂😂😂

I do enjoy code, life, Netflix series, and everything the world has to offer.

But there is something that creeps into my mind during the night, something that grounds me (also awakens me), something that feels unrealistic and at the same time hopeless.

That something is death.

I'm afraid of dying, afraid of not existing anymore, the void, the nothing.

I know, it may be overwhelming and depressing, but this is the core to who we are, and hiding it does not prevent it.

Do I believe in God, I want too, it makes me feel comfortable, but do I truly believe in God, no.

Anyone who thinks of death/life and get scared of it, or am I the only one?

😅😅😅

Be like Bill !

My basis path set does not include this one...

Now that's me....

Yaaa its really the solution

Well here's how I see things going:

Intel and AMD ditch their assembly architectures for Scratch, because drag and drop is very popular lately.

The Boolean is renamed to the biggot by SJW leaders for only supporting binary views.

You must first ask consent to add an item to a linked list, because forcing two items together promotes rape culture.

Apple removes the "h" and "7" keys on all laptop models and gives no reason for their actions.

Linus Torvalds grows an extra middle finger, and it still isn't enough.

Nintendo makes Mario gay and Luigi black to be more inclusive.

LG makes a curved monitor that curves away from you rather than towards you. People buy it in confusion.

Everyone makes the same ad revenue on YouTube, and it is rebranded to OurTube. Luckily, they were able to keep the color scheme.

People finally realize that machine learning is just math, and stop using it everywhere. (Just kidding lol)

AMD and Gucci merge. Nobody understands why.

Might be a repost but I've yet to see it on here, so...

Been months using devRant and I just found out that double tapping upvotes a post.

Chrome

Googles best javascript framework.

1st link: react is the best one.
Me: Ignore

2nd link: Angular is the best one.
Me: ignore.

.
.
.

8th link: Vue is the best one.
Me: I knew it.

OMG I have no clue why they're leaving
- Every asshole manager ever

😥😥😥😥

"This is not an application: it's a bug pretending to be an application." (This comment was left as an app review on Google Play Store)

Oh my god, PHP is so dead.. Node.js is totally kicking ass by powering 0.6% of the internet!

New JS arrow functions:
⇶ (“the gun rack”) – executes three times
↝ (“wiggly boi”) – finds the least efficient solution possible
⟳ (“the self-monch”) – executes forever
⍆ (“🤷‍”) – adds random side effects
⍅ (“the total and complete s**t”) – undoes the only useful and expected part of its execution

Absolutely hilarious 😆

https://medium.com/@Heydon/...

Maintenance

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

Next time I see a constructor with 22 parameters. I'm gonna report whoever wrote that to the police

First day at work:
To install IDE - raise a ticket.
To get access to source control - raise a ticket.
To get access to bug tracker - raise a ticket.
To raise a ticket, I need first to connect to the intranet, but to do that, I need to raise a ticket.
AND even before that, I need a username to login to my laptop, raising a ticket is also required.
WTF?!!!

Those LAN port splitter are getting out hand

God forbid

Outrageous!!!

when your function finally works, but output is different than expected

A sys admin in his natural environment.

Hugs and kisses❌
Bugs and fixes✔️

Gotta love the permanent temporary solutions.