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Joined devRant on 1/30/2021
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"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
The most unrealistic deadline? Okay, here it goes. For context, this is one of my earliest jobs, and I’m actively using React.
— Kiki, I have a stunning idea! Let’s build a Figma clone!
— Okaaaay, 🧐
— You have two days.
— A what?
— I’ve just stumbled upon an amazing new technology. You maybe don’t know it yet. It’s called React.js, and you totally can build a full Figma clone in two days using it!
— …
— It’s a revolution, and you’re so ignorant for not following it. Are you even a real engineer?
— …
Two days later:
— Forget about Figma! Let’s build an online DAW for musicians!
That guy was nuts. I left when we had an executive meeting, I was explaining tech things, and he suddenly popped out a fucking tambourine and started striking it. One year later, he lost everything and went to get a junior C++ position at an outsourcing company.8 -
I've never solved any LeetCode problems.
I've never gotten grades above 80% in my academics.
I've never taken an online course in anything.
I've never gotten any certifications other than my Master's degree.
I've never written a CV for a job application.
How the fuck did I manage to survive for 7 years in this industry?13 -
Quarantine, WFH and sleep combo is really not working out for me.
I'm unable to sleep. Therefore I'm wide awake at 4AM, but will sleep for 12 hours when I eventually manage to fall sleep. But then, I have meetings tomorrow and won't be able to sleep all day.
Overall, fuck covid.
Thank you for listening.8 -
Virtual interview starts and the HR lady:
Oh I was expecting a man!!
(I wasn’t expecting you get surprised!?)
Haven’t you ever worked with female developers in your company or know that it is actually not big news? Some companies have a lot of female engineers including the ones I worked for.
In Central Europe in this age of time?
She was a lovely lady though. I just said
I hope you’re pleasantly surprised 😊13 -
An open letter to the guy that commented on my website:
«Function X does not work. This program is shit. I am going to uninstall it and tell everyone.»
I'm sorry that my completely open source project didn't work for you. The fact that I lost countless days and months and years working on it in my free time, without ever asking for a cent, just trying to do something good for the community, doesn't give me the right to release a feature that may be buggy.
You could have opened a bug report. But that takes time. A whole 2 minutes. I understand the urge to post such a harsh public critic on my website. That's why I was so calm and understanding when I replied to you there.
However, it's a long time I wasn't browsing devRant and I confess I felt the urge to tell you to go fuck yourself. And this is the best place to do it! I'd pay to know you. I'd love to see your face. Oooh you must be so confident of yourself. I'm sure you have accomplished a lot in your life. So here's my message:
Go Fuck Yourself Asshole9 -
"I'm not paying for a website that's going to be free to visit, that doesn't make sense"
-A million $ idea guy28 -
Based on a true story that happened right now.
Dad: "how do i download youtube videos?"
Me: "just google youtube downloader and download them from some site, thats how i do it"
Dad: "WHAT!!??? You want me to fucking google it? I dont know how to fucking google for those things, you're the IT guy and you should know how to do this, if I wanted to google it i wouldnt ask you for help. You know what, get the fuck out of my face i dont need ur help, get out"28 -
!Rant
I was just wondering if there were gay developers around here ?
I'm not desperately looking for a man (already found mine) but It's just I don't seem to often get to meet gay peers. And well, if it can make get people to talk :)
If you're shy, just +1 or whatever, I didn't sudo the question.8 -
Best : I moved on from Dev to SecOps and got a well paid job in a small company closer to my home. With three office dogs.
Really, the dogs are the main thing there. The money is just an additional benefit.
Worst : my Dev life keeps getting less and less relevant for me. In the last two years, I started volunteering a lot (local volunteer fire department and then some), investing into several side businesses that start paying off now, generally doing as much non-dev stuff as possible.
I wanted to do this since I was a kid, I'm good at it, but I keep finding other things to do, because they're more interesting and more of a challenge.
Honestly, the one thing that keeps me in IT is sunk cost fallacy.
Hell, I'm thinking about becoming a paramedic or something, at least I'll be helping people instead of entertaining managers.4 -
Hi everyone,
Over the last couple of days we experienced an issue posting images on devRant posts and comments. This issue should now be fixed.
Apologies for the delay, it to address, it took some digging and we had some alerting that failed that would have helped quickly identify the source of the issue, but unfortunately that part of the alerting wasn't working as expected.
Despite the issue being fixed, there is a bit of additional maintenance that will take place to prevent it from occurring in the future. There could be a couple of minutes of downtime today, March 13 at around 10pm EST, but I'm hoping that can be avoided. I will update in the comments on this rant.
Lastly, and unrelated to this issue, an academic research team has been working on a project involving devRant/types of content posted, and would appreciate feedback and help with a short survey they put together for anyone who is interested: https://devrant.com/rants/3923796/...
Thank you again for the patience and feel free to let me know if you have any questions.
p.s. attached is a relevant meme, according to some people, who thought/hoped this was a feature :)18 -
I'm a first year MSCS student, and working in a startup as a part-time engineer. The founder insisted to mark me as a "Senior Engineer" since I was leading a team of 3 student programmers. Deep in my heart I knew I'm at least 4 years away from competent enough to own this title... Today, I got an invitation from a well known company asking me to join their new team as a Senior SDE II, and I suspect this is the reason. I don't know what to do right now... Frankly I only want to ask the HR if he’d consider adding me as an intern instead LOL. I have no working experience in large professional companies before, and I think I will embarasse myself if they interview me about my experience as a "Senior Engineer" which in fact I was merely a Junior dev...7
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I love working from home. I finally feel I'm making progress and not just extinguishing fires and doing tech support for colleagues.
Maybe I should move to freelance work after this is over... -
Infinite loop...
Got a story assigned with no requirements listed this sprint. Since I finished the rest already I was like, lets be pro-active and see what it's about during the stand-up.
Me: Hi, I only have story X remaining, what's it about, there are no requirements listed in Jira?
SM: Yeah person Y is going to reach out to you with the reqs.
Me: Ok, when is Y going to reach out?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, so why is the story included in this sprint then?
SM: Because they want X implemented this sprint.
(Me wondering if the Scrum Master is familiar with infinite loops, thinking let's try this out)
Me: Ok, if X should be completed, can Y reach out to me with the requirements?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, why is the story included in this sprint then?
Stand-up lasted a lil' longer today... Hope the SM got the message not to assign stories without reqs or clear communication anymore.5 -
This item on my TODO list reads "Finish the paper" but it's more like wishful thinking. I have very few pages available (cuz IEEE still can't afford to give you free pages all the while being fully electronic and each extra page costs like €1000000) and much more to explain. As well, am trying to fit words by removing other words...
Fuuuuuuuck youuuuu toooooo IEEE.24 -
A while back, I had a lot of telemarketers were calling me daily, and I mean A LOT of them.
I got so frustrated with he calls that I decided I had to figure out a better way to handle those calls.
At the time, I was working with a PBX software called Asterisk, which is used to handle hardware interfaces and network applications for phone calls.
I needed a suitable side project and there was a version of Asterisk designed for Raspberry Pi, so I made a fun little answering service for myself.
Whenever a telemarketer called, I asked them to call back later, but to "my personal number", and gave them the number to my phone robot. (which had a pre-paid SIM card in a GSM dongle mounted)
When it received a call, it would play a pre-recorded phrase, wait for 1000 ms of silence and then play the next phrase.
After all 16 phrases had been played, it would start from phrase 7 again and repeat until the caller gave up.
I had this set up running for a while, and then added another robot for english speaking callers.
The calls stopped after a few months.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!13 -
Just decided to go "all in" on Amazon but then see this... (See previous rant)
Maybe I should just go half in? (3 shares)14 -
One problem for CS education is that the salaries for academia are so low compared to industry that if someone is even vaguely competent, they can at least double their income by working a 'real' job. Now this may be different at higher levels of colleges but generally those folks are such bullshitters they wouldn't last outside of academia.
As what to improve?
Depends if it's a research or vocational course.
For vocational; heavy on group projects, common tools, methodologies and architectures. All demonstrated in something like c#/java/python. And one project must have a web app (db, app layer and JavaScript from end)
Basic knowledge of algorithms, runtime analysis (O notation) and some data structures and you're an instahire.
For research, go wild. Deep dive into the math, algorithmic side. Read up lots of research papers. Try out different programming paradigms. You would aim for a career in academia, AI, quant finance etc...2 -
!dev && rant
Looking for a song's lyrics... A very complicated task apparently. Blinding Lights by The Weeknd for whoever's interested.
Firefox: just one small thing to keep going, sorry we just updated our CA certs again. Screw you, close the browser. I will not restart it for you but I will tell you that I would. When you restart the browser, you will lose whatever search you were just doing. Sucks for you bastard! Enjoy the update.
Go to Genius Lyrics, please turn on JavaScript to run this "app". Done that? Okay now solve this CAPTCHA please. Um.. let me just leave that ingenious site.
Next one, AZ Lyrics: Yeah sorry your IP is from a hosting provider, but we will not tell you that is the reason. You've just been denied access to the site. See you next time! Everyone using a VPS to make a VPN connection with is obviously an abuser after all.
Finally found the lyrics on lyrics.com after a long journey that was way more complicated than it should've been. It's a good song.
Oh and Firefox consumed well over a GB for just a single tab of course...
I want Gopher, BBS, IRC and the likes back.4 -
At the job interview to my current position I was asked the classic ”where do you see yourself in X years” question. I replied something along the lines of that I see myself staying if I feel good where I am and long as I have the opportunities for professional growth.
Now with recent developments it’s looking like those opportunities will be bygone pretty soon. I work on a massive legacy codebase, where with the scarcity of current dev resources and the apparent difficulties of procuring additional personnel to the dev dept, it does look like we’ll be limited to maintenance and simple small scale improvements with no room for meaningful projects. Theoretically I could ask to be moved to another product, but realistically that would both be a dick move well as unlikely to happen, as other projects are fully staffed (and made with technologies there’s easier to find personnel to).
As a consequence of this perceived imminent halt in opportunities for self-development at work, I’ve been starting to look for greener pastures. There are some intriguing ones out there. But then I come here, read some rants and comments, and it always becomes abundantly clear I’m good where I’m at right now. So what of it, if my position won’t enable growth out of the box for a while? I can always develop my skills and knowledge on my free time, and besides, the stagnation won’t last forever... right?12 -
I'm alone most of the day: my housemate is at work this morning, family scattered around the country, recently moved to a new town.
I had a great night last night and today is fantastic too. I'm not writing a single line of code today or doing anything but running a few laps later... maybe.
I don't even feel sad in the slightest.
Happy nondenominational festive period guys! -
I hate moving
But moving back in with your parents is even worse
Even worse when your parents are hoarders and so you get to move back into a room where you then get to clear out random shit that isn't yours. And try to convince your parents to throw out a dresser that only 3/8 drawers work in it but they want to keep it.
*Sighs*8