Almost two decades of working with JavaScript, and I just got caught out by the most stupid of things..

Did you know that `["ping"] == "ping"` is `true`, whereas `["ping"] === "ping"` is `false`...? 🤔 I did, once upon a time, long ago. Apparently I forgot about it though.

Seriously, fuck you JS.. with all of the internet's 10 foot rusty barge poles.

A female boss I worked for, pulled an employee retention tactic that still gives me the chills.

She paid dogshit salaries to all her employees. And yelled at them enough to keep them overworked and burnt out.

When one of them tried to resign, she said "fine you can leave us but I won't be giving you any salary slips, no experience/recommendation letter and neither acknowledge that you ever worked here.
You get to leave the company when I decide for you.
You have already stayed here so long that if you decide to disappear tomorrow it will leave a gap on your resume in your next interview."

What a horrible day absolutely love everyone on here

After EVERY. FUCKING. RESTART... I have to delete one of my keyboard layouts and re-add it so Im able to switch between them. Its been a YEAR now! But hey! Notepad has tabs now! M$...Bunch of glue sniffing monkeys...

I'm old fashioned when it comes to coffee. If someone offers me a hot cup of java, I say no thanks.
I'd much prefer a cup of C++.

Woah that’s one hell of a meme

Why write tests for frontend when I can clearly see it works......I mean, c'mon, the like button is incrementing....this button doesn't like been tested (T-T)

GraphQL is the worst "invention" ever, it is more effort to create the fucking queries including nesting, references, variables etc. FUCK THIS SHIT.

This is just another one of these "oooouuuuu look at us wE UsE GrAPHql!11!!" bullshit things that make daily work sucky. Thanks Facebook (fuck you too).

//////

I fucked up.

I shared information that should have never been said with my wife.

Now she knows and she won't leave it alone.

It's changed her perception of me, clearly, and she's made several comments that have bothered me for a couple reasons.

In either case, the damage is done and there's nothing I can do to stop this shit train from rolling me over.

Dev: Why do you have an identical if statement right below this one?

Manager: Because I want the code to double check, obviously.

Dev: …

So today our CFO stepped into IT and angrily proclaimed someone using tech@ e-mail and fake name is defrauding company funds buying themselves... "used female lingerie with extra virgin juice" (sic!).

I work for an IPSP, we handle finance for commercial services (think PayPal but smaller). One of our clients is a big platform where girls can sell items like bath water, used socks and more. CFO demanded our admins found out who and when connected to that website, what URLs and so on.

As mentioned, said platform is pretty big, hence, from time to time we help them with their service when they ask us to, that's why we have a tech@ account. Last month there was a minor issue with one of the banks, someone fixed it and, as per usual, made a small payment of €1 topping up the account wallet to make sure everything works. It was an intern whose will to live is still strong and unencumbered with experience so she jokingly wrote "panties juice, extra virgin" in the payment note. What she *didn't know*, however, is that admins on that platform used the very same account to test new billing system they've implemented and our CFO received an invoice.

Riddle me this Batman, why am I constantly afraid that other developers are going to fuck up my work after my time on the codebase?

Dev: Why did you suddenly start adding random whitespace to the end of all of the files in your PRs?

Manager: IT’S NOT RANDOM!

Dev: ?

Manager: That’s a way I came up with for tracking my contributions. Every time I edit a file I add a line of whitespace at the bottom so it’s clear to everyone how much and how often I’ve contributed to the team. Although I haven’t been doing it this entire time so I had to make up for this by adding more to files that I *know* I’ve touched a bunch before. Just think! Especially with how big my PRs are compared to everyone else the tally of my contributions is going to get huge!

Dev: …

> Find cool repo on GitHub
> Works very well
> Respectable weekly downloads
> …Hasn’t been updated in a year
> …Owner from Shanghai, China
> …Hasn’t pushed to any repo in over a year
> Last profile update: Feeling sick 🤒
> …
>😔
> Rest in peace friend, thanks kindly for the time you’ve saved me.

Heard of Electron? There is also Electrino, Electron-like stuff that uses your system's browser instead of embedding full Chrome. A “Hello World” app takes 115 MB using Electron, but only 167 kB using Electrino.

Too bad it's still a proof of concept with almost no features.

https://github.com/pojala/electrino

Has anyone else noticed salaries dropping a bit for devs on job listings? Seems to be 20k less a year than they were advertising before!

Recession hitting it seems!

So, Twitter fired the entire Indian team (or almost, Im not so sure) and one person posted on LinkedIn that went like, "If you've been laid off, just learn something new and Upskill yourself."

Like yeah, no shit Sherlock.

I imagine this is the same kind of people who tell depressed people, "Oh, you're depressed? Just Cheer Up!"

***Art of programming** that book is very hard 🥺🥺😞

2019 broke me
2020 opened my eyes
2021 I'm back on crack
2022 ape mode

Today once again, Windows has lost my wallpaper and I am back in black.

Every 2 months without fail:

Manager: I don’t understand what the point of writing tests is. They only ever pass and when they fail we just fix them so they pass again! It’s completely redundant!!! An exercise in absolute futility!

Dev: …

I have spent 20 minutes explaining to a contractor how to stage a file in git and what a filepath is.

It's moments like this where I stop worrying about my job security

can we stop with the "uncertain times" bullshit? that was funny for about a month in 2020, but its two years later now, just stop

fucking zoomers consuming bullshit splat media splat splat anxiety stupid you are a screen splat splat barf splat

Was given a fancy looking pen for 3 years of “service” today.

Pen doesn’t work.

User: *Clicks on staging environment*

Giant Warning Dialog: YOU ARE CURRENTLY ENTERING THE STAGING ENVIRONMENT

Users: Ok

App: *Completely different colour, I’m talking bright unsightly yellow*

User: Ok

Giant Yellow and Red Flashing Banner at the Top of the Screen: WARNING YOU ARE CURRENTLY USING STAGING, THIS AREA IS FOR TESTING ONLY

User: The production environment sure is acting strange today. It’s a weird colour and I don’t recognize any of the data, it’s all just dummy filler data. I better create a ticket for the dev team to check o—….. no wait I’ll send an email CC everyone including the CEO and sound the alarm production is currently down and filled with giant warning messages.

Manager: OH MY GOD PRODUCTION IS DOWN DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS??? WHAT THE FUCK COULD THESE WARNING MESSAGES BE THAT’S ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN ON STAGING! THE CEO IS BREATHING DOWN MY NECK YOU NEED TO GET THIS FIXED IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

Dev: …

Manager: Why did you clear the data from the database? The client is now specifically requesting it and we don’t have it anymore!

Dev: You told me to.

Manager: Well why did you listen? It’s obvious now that that data was very important and should have been kept!

Dev: Last time you told me to do something that wasn’t a good idea I tried to explain why and told me not to question you ever again and that doing so was “disrespectful” and then threatened to have me fired. So now I just go along with what you say and let you suffer the consequences of not listening.

Manager: Well don’t do that then! It’s obviously not working very well! It’s ok to disagree with me you just have to make sure that what you think is something I agree with!

Dev: …

You use Postgres.
I use DNS TXT records.
We are not the same.

> Be me
> Desperate for a driver
> Find nothing useful
> Oh a GitHub repo, hmmh
> '𝐃𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 ===> tinyurl.com/XXXXXX'
> Nope
> It's time to report!

Context:

- The url is a redirect chain to a phishing site

- Repo is completely empty except for a single folder with 1000+ files all named after drivers, with the same 'download' link, and probably scraped website text at the bottom (probably to increase searchability)

- The 'user' joined just a couple days ago and has no other repos

In an effort to deal with the number of “top priority” tickets, management has come up with a new priority level, “urgent”, to help differentiate between tickets that are “top priority” and tickets that are actually “top priority”.

So as you can guess all tickets are now codified as “urgent”.

I’ve suggested management downgrade some tickets back to merely “top priority” as we’re clearly right back where we started with it being difficult to determine which order to do tickets in.

They’ve ignored my request as the bletherings of a clearly unenlightened peon, and have instead came up with a new priority, “mission critical” which will be reserved for the most hallowed of emerg— oh no wait everything is now “mission critical” who would have guessed?

So “Top priority” is the now lowest priority a ticket can have…Naturally.