All I want for Christmas is... 😍😍😍

Pretty new at the job still.

-”Hey, best practice to do X?”

”Just check how we did it in previous code”

*checks whole bloody project, everything done in 500 different ways by 20 people*
*selects what seems as the best solution already used*

”Ya, you should have done X like this instead”

😒

Well shit. Seems as though I've crossed the 1k threshold.

Now I can have a cat.

Handy guide to webpack:

1. Copy-paste stuff from internet until it works.

That's it!

Client: Can you build a Webshop and make it SEO,SEM and advertising-friendly?
Me: I COULD TRY. Whats your budget?
Client: Up to 400€
At this point I slowly faded away.

Let's build an Android app... For a static Website.

people should know..

Seems legit! 😂😂😂

the future iPhone

A fun experience with a client:
Client: We want to use a database in the cloud without internet.
Us: Uhm that's not possible.
Client: Why not? You don't need internet to use a cloud database, because it's in the sky right?
.....
We will never forget our first client.
p.s. he also wanted to use his wifi printer without internet and cable

I pray for a future where clients have a better understanding of IT related concepts🙏

Completed Angular 2 course on codeschool, really liked improvements and simplicity of Angular over Angularjs. Decided to do quick start guide in official website. Oh my f**king god... I need to setup webpack, typescript linter, typings, polyfills etc angular2-cli is no better, crawling with errors... why... why can't one just start a project and work instead spending loads of timing configuring all of that... AND WHY WE CANT HAVE PROPER SUPPORT FOR LATEST FEATURES...

I don't even know what I am ranting about... I just wish to spend more time creating things than configuring for ages development environment.

What a developer on earth using AngularJS for form manipulation but using jQuery $.ajax to submit a form?

Gahhhh!

Just inherited a HR backend written in Laravel. However, ALL database interaction is done using DB::raw() i.e.

$results = DB::select( DB::raw("SELECT * FROM tbl WHERE col = '$fromThe QueryStringLOl'") );

No models at all :(

FML.

Waiting 15+ minutes while Windows "indexes" a folder just so I can see the contents reminds me of why I dislike Windows as an OS so much.

This is a senseless operation that is of no benefit to the user.

Boss found a wierd bug in code that only happenes in IE10. Closed Jira-task with note; Stop using IE, or update to IE11

Literally swear I despise flash. So, had a small job to update a page that consisted of a list of members, clicking on a members name will populate an adjacent div with 3 or 4 contact names. Simple stuff on the face of it.

However, it turned out the previous developer had decided to use flash for this, meaning there is a horrible .swf plonked into the page.

I mean seriously, why can't things be simple? :(

When a client insists on using Windows Server+IIS... 😄🔫

I have just got the stickers and my father though that the letter is from some university. I have never seen someone so disappointed :P

btw. thank you guys , they are amazing

Proposed http response codes.

(image taken from DefCon 21 talk by Chris John Riley)

Words to live by

Writing Regex be like..

Takes 5 days leave from work.

Still codes at home.

#Me

LOL...😂😂😂

#wife {
right: 100%;
margin: 0;
}

when your janitor knows his audience

My boss when:

Conversation regarding passwords:

Me: "It should be longer than that"
Other dev: "That's what she said"

*taking note of the inappropriate-ness*

Me: "We need to get a room for us"
PM: "That's what she said"
Me: "Come on Ryan!"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
Sales Lady: "This will never end!"
Me: "That's what she said!"

Office dies for a minute. Michael Scott would be proud.

Oh, I'm sorry if I have spoken during this meeting. I didn't realise I was invited just so I would be told "we're not going into that much detail at this stage of the project". I was just trying to point out that when you mock up any UI, you should take into account the fact that information is hierarchical: more important stuff before less important stuff, you know. Maybe you don't want to swamp the user with buttons all the time. When everything is important, nothing is. But that's just detail. And then the boss says we should create two more incongruent screens and all of the sudden that's a brilliant idea! So then again, sorry. I know exactly where my place is now. You pretend you know what you're doing and I fix it for you.

"Make us a one-page website for our new company!"

I build the site, to their exact specifications and show it to them

"There's only one page"
"You only asked for one page."
"No, we didn't"
I show them the email they sent me, asking for a one-page site
"Wow, you suck, we are finding another developer!"

Real pair programming

Just found a "pro" app to learn linux... The dev used a non linux icon (windows dos) as the app icon.