CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”

Who is a self taught programmer here? Like conpletely self taught.

That moment when

Tinder experience so far

Girl: "hey, what do you do?"

Me: "im a programmer"

Girl:

Me: "and you?"

Girl:

Me: "... hello?"

*Suddenly unmatch*

Yes! Haven't even graduated yet, and just got hired as Junior Developer - score!

I could write an entire book about Xcode bugs

Oh!! Nevermind!!

Why

Do

LinkedIn motivational

Posts

Look

Like this?

Why are you

guys making me

fucking

unfollow you?

So I have 600 LinkedIn contacts.

Most are recruiters.

So my feed is flooded with recruitement rants.

And success stories like this:

How they hired the guy who had

A 10 year gap in his employment.

Because they had to take care.

Of their sick pet hamster.

Hiring him was one of their best decisions.

He was a stellar employee.

If you somehow managed to install Mac OS on a raspberry Pi, does that make it an Apple Pi?

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

Best joke I have read this week...

1969 vs 2017

I have this math teacher and, wow, is she good at math. And, wow, should she never enter another field in her life. Today she asked us if anyone does code. The answer is yes, but I refuse to answer something that uses code as a verb.

When people say that C is no longer used.

Programmer's life

Thank you makers

can't stop laughing on this...lol

This is me when some software have one month free subscription for new accounts

I am a sandwich.

It has Happened so many times that it's now became a process.

I want the legendary I phone (x-h)^2 + (v - k)^2 = r^2 !!!

Website: "your ad blocker's on, consider adding us to your white list..."
Me: *inspect element*
Me: *Delete modal*
*Insert montage of me hacking into the mainframe for dramatic purposes*

I'm in. 😎

5!=120
(Not missing brackets)

Thanks for the awesome stickers #devrant

Waiting for those dev rant stickers

When your coffee supplier won't let you order < 5. Client side validation wins again.

Welcome everyone.
Today I signed my first contract!!!
Front end
Part time
I'm 30.
This is still a start

HELLO WORLD! ITS FIRST DAY OF LEARNING HTML😊

Always

At a party.

A: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a dev-
A: So you can like... hack things? Can you hack my insta?

ಠ_ಥ

One time a company I worked for tried to fuck me over and not pay me the referral fee that was promised for referring an employee. They hired the person I referred for a position that was advertised as having a referral fee paid after 6 months.

After the 6 months were up, I went in to HR to ask when I could expect to see the money, and they said “oh, you’re not eligible to receive the referral bonus because we hired so and so as a contractor (full-time) instead of an actual full-time employee.” And I was like... fuck that shit, they never mentioned that to me and I didn’t burn a referral lead so they could hire the person as a contractor and avoid paying me the advertised fee. I was absolutely livid and couldn’t believe it after I had been expecting this money for 6 months.

I felt cheated and none of my colleagues at the company could believe they’d stoop so low to not pay a highly-valued employee an advertised referral bonus. I had lots of battles with management over it, and eventually ended up with a portion of the promised fee, but not the whole thing.