Date a programmer. We break loops, not hearts.

My friend (not in CS) said his computer was a bit slow.
I told him I'd fix that for 10, he agreed.

I increased the cursor speed.
He bought it.

!rant

Best day of my life ❤️.
Arrow functions will be added to PHP 7.4:

https://twitter.com/nikita_ppv/...

10am: meeting invite for 9:30pm my time.

*decline with comment: can’t attend*

9:40pm: email, “is anyone from engineering going to attend?”

*ignored*

10:05pm: email, ok the results of the call were X, Y and Z. But we’ve been asked to supply architecture diagrams (which don’t exist). Can we do this today?

*ignore*

10:45pm: email, guys this is urgent can we do this ASAP!

*ignore*

... welcome to the new world bitches, bite me

sad story

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

Today I learned:

`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”

`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”

Had no idea.

😂😂NSFW

This morning I got up a little earlier, and managed to make myself a proper cup of coffee in my favorite cup

Actually, i do this too... 😂😂😂

That's how your windows should look like

Great day start 😁

This is how you'd imagine a sysadmin.

(Stolen from Reddit)

That feeling when you boot up your shiny new laptop for the first time and there's no fucking Cortana, online accounts or mandatory updates right out of the box.

Thank you Dell ❤️

Recently made an account on Instagram.
Uploaded two pics
Deleted both of them
Now I've -2 posts

Please consider my questions StackOverflow 😭

Being a developer

This got me.

Friend: *deletes something from the internet*
"Thank god, now it's gone forever!"

Me: *Laughs in French*
"Hahahaha!"

Friend: "What?"

Me: "No, I'm pretty sure almost everything you put on the internet stays on the internet."

Friend: "ARE YOU STUPID??! The button says fucking DELETE. What else would it to do? Please use your brain for once."

Me: "You realize that text in the button is just a string right?"

Friend: *Looks confused*
"Stop trying to be such a smartass. Why would it be called 'delete' if it doesn't delete? Your logic make no sense whatsoever."

Me: *Makes quick simple app in order to prove my point*

App has 4 buttons:

-Play Music: Shows a picture of a dog

-Stop Music: Starts playing music video of Never gonna give you up

-Close App: Changes the interface to a random color

-Delete App: Pop up that says "The app has been deleted"

Friend: *Installs and tries the app*
"Dude! Did you even test your app before sending me?? Your buttons are broken as hell. None of them works. They all do things they're not supposed to do. How do you even call yourself a programmer? Sorry dude, nothing personal but this app sucks."

Me: *I need a new friend*
*sigh*

Communism at it's finest

Wonder, how it works?

Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong

So, eventually they understood a lot of SO users are assholes. 😁

*i am a teenager*

*i don't have credit card*

*can't buy anything*

*sees unixstickers is $1*

*pulls out a dollar from physical wallet*

*throws in the air*

*cries*

Careful with that drink or you're gonna overflow XD

When pm says jump!
You ask,
From which floor?

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

Lets all help them share their startup

It changed my life, really. 😁