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Details

About

Web developer
Skills

Html5, PHP, MySQL, js.
Location

Mumbai, India
Website

http://playmaster.xyz
Github

Playmast3r

Joined devRant on 7/17/2016

242

I actually lent a girl an umbrella yesterday which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

joke/meme

12
64

I think I’m a bit unusual in that my favorite place to code is on the couch, just using my laptop. During the work day I use two monitors, but I find it more comfortable to just use a lap desk and laptop when I get home/on weekends. I’m not sure if it’s from laziness or whatever, but it seems to work.

rant laptop wk161 couch

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54

Picked this up the other day. Hope it's as good as people have been telling me.

If so, then here begins a new journey for me to better code.

random book clean code

11
6

Design PRD based on competitor's product :|

rant wk157

4
161

Boss 1: You have such a dedicated team of workers, how do you make them all come in time?
Boss 2: Its simple, 30 employees, 20 parking spaces.

rant joke parking boss bosses

14
342

*In a team meeting*

Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*

Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*

It was a nice conversation.

rant wtf

12
121

"I'm a full stack dev."

<html>
<h1 style="color: red">
<?php echo("Hello world"); ?>
</h1>
</html>

...

rant php backend dev full stack html frontend

16
84

I'm one of the few lucky ones to have a coder as my girlfriend! So technically this isn't even a rant! Just a statement of Happiness LOL! 😎

undefined happiness lol coder girlfriend codergirlfriend

10
451

Told my gf I wanted a coding buddy so she won me this during the hackathon 😀

undefined girlfriend shesakeeper github

27
100

Now this is what I love to see whenever I start the terminal

rant

12
233

Also this

joke/meme wk147

2
241

Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.

Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.

Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)

Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).

These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.

Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".

The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.

What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?

Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.

Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.

But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.

So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.

On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.

In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.

This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.

rant wk147

23
22

w3schools.dev

Whoever did this...

joke/meme

5
108

Always work below your capacity.. if you give 100% that will always be expected. 70% gives you some wiggle room, plus you're the hero that saves the day when you kick it up to 100.

rant

13
95

when you write few line of codes without using stackoverflow

joke/meme stackoverflow not much honest work

1
21

So my CTO comes to me and asks me to checkout the APIs provided by a particular service and see if we can use them.

After two days of research I go to him and tell him that it cannot be done and it doesn’t fit our use case. He tells me research more although I have researched everything required.

So I take two days doing absolutely nothing, send a mail to the developer of the apis and they tell me that it can’t be done.

Now imagine this kind of scenario occurring every three months. RESEARCH MORE.

Why do super senior members of our company don’t trust me. It’s just so random and anger evoking

rant 🤬 😡

7
325

sad story

joke/meme funny

6
17

vim.dev

emacs.dev

The war has started.

joke/meme

3
69

What should you do when you find dfox ++ your rant?

Wrong - To take screenshot and post about it and say you are feeling like a celebrity.

Correct - Stay calm. Chill.

:)

rant some knowledge for everyone

8
11

Laravel is LOVE:)

rant devrant frameworks

5
235

i'm getting headaches right now...

rant wtf is wrong with him

25
242

Remember this....

joke/meme

5
333

When the new guy on the team uses click bait titles on his PRs... that’s when you realise this guys going to go far.

rant

12
78

Problem solving

joke/meme

5
136

My #wk143

joke/meme wk143
17

There is a dude in my office who keeps clearing his throat 64-128 times a day!
It is getting pretty annoying!!!

Sometimes it sounds like a horse neighing...

Should I put some HALLS on his desk?!?!?!

random rant

9
183

Le monday morning after a commit on sunday evening...

PM: BLAAAH!!!! Your commit broke the site, nothing is working!!!!!!
Me: What? All of tests passed (coverage 95%), no issues were found.
PM: NOO!!!! Site is broken, we can't use it no more!!!
Me: Ok, what's the problem?
PM: I've tried to enter -10021 into this field on that page and it gived me an error.
Me: Ok? So, that single page is broken?
PM: No, whole site!!!! This is important
Me: Sure... Let me take a look

* PM tried to enter a negative value into an unsigned field that I've mutated yesterday after checking LIVE database if there was no records with negative value. Reason: we've hit an int limit and there was no chance that the value would be negative. Validation? Well, yes.... Except that page was added by him this morning without even checking everything else *

Me: Here, this is the issue, *gives explanation*
PM: Well.... You shouldn't do this. This is unacceptable. You must never leave int fields without negative values. Didn't they teach you in school that integers can be negative?!
Me: What? *consufed as hell*
PM: *More morale... blah blah blah....* Revert it back!
Me: Ok but if anything else breaks, copy of this slack conversation will be kept.
PM: Don't care! Fix it!
Me: * Reverts the fix, saves chat copy * - Done.
PM: Great.

* 5 wild minutes later *
PM: BLAAAH!!!! Site is down, service is not working, what have you done?
Me: Reverted the change needed for it to work. Todays schedule is full with other important tasks. * pastes a screenshot as a proof that he asked me to do this *
PM: FIX IT NOW! Apply your fix.
Me: You're the PM. - Done.
PM: Great, now I'll fix my code. You should be more careful next time.
Me: * YOU DENSE MATHA...KER * Sure.

How's your morning going? :)

rant

9
11

i am rly lonely and that depresses me so can someone reply to this post so i can feel like i exist and important

rant

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28

So my room mate received an email from a recruiter today:

Hey XXX,

We have not given up yet. We know you are a busy person so we thought of a very time-saving number system. Just send us the number that fits.

1) I am interested, tell me more.
2) Offer sounds interesting but I still don't have time, message me again in 6 months.
3) Thanks for the offer but XXX is still not a city I am interested in.
4) Not interested, thanks for the offer.

1,2 or 3? I am looking forward to your number ;)
(They actually included the wink emoji)

Regards,
Recruiter XXX

We usually don't read these recruiter emails but this one was actually funny :D

rant offer message xing recruiter job

2
91

Uber Crashes!!!!!!!

😂😂😂😂😂

joke/meme

2

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