made my day

Ok. What. ..?

This is a really accurate changelog .

I think I'm losing it

How programmers comment their code

Funny...
Avira VPN uninstall has a trojan on it...
Fuck, If we can't trust Antivirus... Who can we trust?

Recently made an account on Instagram.
Uploaded two pics
Deleted both of them
Now I've -2 posts

OH dear!

I wanted to do webdev backend in C++.
It was cumbersome so I decided to write a library that helps me and OH MY GOD. I have COMPLETELY changed C++ xDD

https://github.com/Wittmaxi/webcpp

(yes, the screenshot is ACTUAL C++ xD)

Implementing the application exactly like the client specified, because they won't listen.

Next thing you know, you're getting an email from your oven about it's updated privacy policy.

I've never had a great experience working with designers, but this one might be the laziest! Props if it's for a friend and unpaid though.

Those LAN port splitter are getting out hand

- Her : How’s your life going?

- Me :

Friend: *deletes something from the internet*
"Thank god, now it's gone forever!"

Me: *Laughs in French*
"Hahahaha!"

Friend: "What?"

Me: "No, I'm pretty sure almost everything you put on the internet stays on the internet."

Friend: "ARE YOU STUPID??! The button says fucking DELETE. What else would it to do? Please use your brain for once."

Me: "You realize that text in the button is just a string right?"

Friend: *Looks confused*
"Stop trying to be such a smartass. Why would it be called 'delete' if it doesn't delete? Your logic make no sense whatsoever."

Me: *Makes quick simple app in order to prove my point*

App has 4 buttons:

-Play Music: Shows a picture of a dog

-Stop Music: Starts playing music video of Never gonna give you up

-Close App: Changes the interface to a random color

-Delete App: Pop up that says "The app has been deleted"

Friend: *Installs and tries the app*
"Dude! Did you even test your app before sending me?? Your buttons are broken as hell. None of them works. They all do things they're not supposed to do. How do you even call yourself a programmer? Sorry dude, nothing personal but this app sucks."

Me: *I need a new friend*
*sigh*

The bugs have learned to hide

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

When you set details to Ultra High but keep shadows on Ultra Low.

Samsung got that one right 😂😂😂

That marketing guy is in big trouble.

You know shit just got serious when you go to page 2 on Google

Render issues IRL

My cat constantly jumping on my keyboard or slapping her tail on my face

No proble

Looping in kitchen be like

And now I have 2xWindows on my PC

How I protect my source code from prying eyes of colleagues.

When you realize only one "person" in your life remembered

So, who did this and what was he thinking..?

git commit -m "fixed issue with fan"

And then the protection broke and "Avast" was born .... and the broken nature has been there ever since.

Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?