Been sitting here for 10 minutes already. Trying to see if we can still support the customers who are stuck in the dark ages. Oh my gaeddd...

Let's write an AI to be our next president. With machine learning, we can just train it with a bunch of history books.

Just optimized a bottleneck function in a program down from 160ms to 3ms. First time I've ever used a profiler, and it feels awesome.

I had a USB WiFi dongle installed and working great. Then someone pulled it out of my computer, without talking to me, so they could use it. I found another in the office...exact same model...plug it in. Drivers don't work. Can't update them. Reinstallation crashes. Try to restart computer, it crashes. Restart computer and now Outlook won't even open. No idea what to do now, but this is going on an hour and counting of no productivity.

WTF Windows? You can't even handle a WiFi dongle right?

Literally spent the whole day debugging a race condition that only showed up in the release build. Resolved it with a Sleep(0).

Where is my beer.

Anyone rockin that new Vivaldi web browser?

When a client insists on using Windows Server+IIS... 😄🔫

One year for Christmas, my dad got me an old tower and installed Windows 98 on it. He also got two old-school PCI WiFi cards so that my "new" computer could access the Internet via his.

I started learning basic web development. I would convince my mom (an English teacher) to buy me books on programming all the time when she was getting her own books at the store.

Eventually, I got a book on Blitz Basic and started making my own video games.

Then GameMaker, Java, C/C++, and more web development and design happened until all the sudden, out of nowhere, I'm a computer scientist 😁

It's crazy how much we owe to our parents. And neither us nor them even realized what they were doing at the time!

What should I do with the last one?! Thanks @dfox!

How could we, as developers, help make the world safer for both citizens and law enforcement?

How many of you guys have an actual development life cycle at work (documenting every step, officially closing out of design, implementation, testing, etc)?

My place has a pretty stringent cycle. It is usually useful, but can occasionally just feel like paper pushing. It seems, though, that a lot of devs on here just sit down and start typing until someone says stop?

When every single JIRA ticket is marked "Critical"...