We have an API which returns 600 MB of JSON.

Because client "Wants to see everything first and then apply filters, just like Excel".

FML
Edit and ofc thier laptops with core i3 and 4GB of ram can't even process that.

I'm afraid of opening this product. I don't know if I'll be able to close it once I'm done🤔

Check this beauty!
Surface Pro 6 ❤️❤️❤️

"Microsoft Word can create Websites".

Yeah both are correct at their own place i guess...

"And on the eighth day God said 'Let there be 4G LTE.' He looked at the 4G LTE and he was pleased."

The most stupid question you can ask at an open source software event?

"So, this system, is it open source?"

I asked this to a guy at a stand about the system he was presenting (forgot the project name).

He stared at me with a wtf face and then replied with "....yes.... of course.... this is an OPEN SOURCE software event?!"

I felt quite fucking stupid.

Meeting with investors? 🤔

Debug heaven!

Store is called Aqua Duck Store, found it on vacation in Amsterdam

I thought this was accurate! In 2019, I am going to conquer these things

Can AI really takeover? 😂

Current State

I took good care of it .. it's all your fault 🙄

Happy accidents !!!

Well, that’s one way to stop someone from harassing you online. But damn....

Found this 2 years old beauty today:

public boolean hasPermission(User user, Permission permission){
// TODO
return true;
}

The author quit last year.

Network Address Translation (NAT). Rooted so deep, most people don't even know it's a hack

I bypassed SSL certificate verification because that goddam certificate had some flags which my JVM did not understand and threw errors. Still in prod after 10+ years 🤐

The room automation (light, doors, music) of a "smart" Hotel owned by our company is still being processed by an API that runs on one of my ex-colleagues local machine. It has now officially been declared as a "server" and everyone just hopes it keeps working.

I know many retarded classmates :p
~🍓

Working on a funny/new api/service (will be a public one) and I'm only now realizing how important good security is but especially:

The amount of time that goes into securing an api/application is too goddamn high, I'm spending about 90 percent of my time on writing security checks 😅

Very much fun but the damn.

So you're gonna underpay me when you know damn well I'm the best dev you've had in at least the last year? Guess who's gonna learn DVORAK on a QWERTY

PLAIN FUCKING TEXT PASSWORD! How can this still be a thing in 2018?

ffffffukcc you eclipse you god damn old piece of slow fuck, so many missing features after transitioning from intellij to eclipse, i want to fkig code in intellij but college forces us to use the god damn eclipse

got a mail 10 minutes after I finished a 10h shift that my contract won't be refreshed after 4 years ripping my ass off for this fucked up organization. apparently not because of lack of competence but of personal reasons. that's what you get for not being a sheep and having an opinion. my (ex)boss didn't even have the balls to say it to my face.
fuck them! I don't need people like that around me - neither in my spare time nor at work - and I wish them all the worst.
happy holidays motherfuckers!

Reproducing a bug is easy breezy

Salute to those who deleted it😂😂😂

I don't really like that corny ass joke about going to the grocery store and buying eggs or whatever the fuck it is, but this.... This is fucking hilarious.

There's a solid 75% chance that Caecilia is a programmer.

Not all men :P

Boss: "I know we just finished the first part of Client A's project but they also want this extra work done that wasn't in the contract."
Me: "Can't do it without pushing back Client B's work"
Boss: "Well we don't want that. We need to hit that deadline."
Me: "Cool"
Boss: "But Client A was really hoping this new feature which wasn't in the scope would be in."
Me: "Then we're pushing back Client B's work"
<<loop continues >>