The last known image of a Cobol developer. #conspiracy #Illuminati

Instatgrams designs working on the new logo...

DBA life

Knock knock.

Who's there?

*long pause*

Java!

The real hunger ...

Too classically corny NOT to post.

#reasonstodevorce

Refactoring is like kissing a baby.. I like doing that, but to my own.

Clients be like

When your code reviewing the new guy and there's 50 comments for every line of code

New devRant energy drinks we'll be handing out at our booth at Techcrunch Disrupt NYC next Tuesday. Swing by and meet Team devRant (me and @dfox)!

hey guy just FYI node is not a Fucking cure all.

also "knowing" node doesn't make you a Fucking full stack developer. learn some real damn languages.

When I push to Master Branch

When you see some code you wrote a few years ago:

Junior Dev me: ok boss, coding is basically done, just need to do some more system testing.
Senior Dev: fantastic let me take a look.
(3 hours later)
Senior Dev: ok so I've made some small changes and pushed, could you pull my edits.
me: sure
(pulls changes)
(EVERYTHING Is changed)
(try to compile)
(doesn't compile)
Me: sorry, it doesn't seem to compile for me
Senior Dev: I never tried to actually build it, it's only a small change
me:

Fuck dates and fuck date manipulation. Even when I think I get it right, I don't

My boss literally spends half an hour finger-fucking his phone on the mobile site to find "bugs", that I can't replicate. A combination like: swipe, pinch, landscape, portrait, back pinch, open new tab, close tab, ash cigarette on phone, dunk in toilet, dry, double tap... Aha I've found a bug, there's 0.5 pixel line of space between the bag header and the browser bar.

marquetting department: i need a new for on the website its urgent drop everithing else
dev: sure can you give me the text and the fields that should be on the form?
....1 week later
dev: do you havr the info
marketing: can you have ot online today
dev: yes just get me that content
1week later
.... you know where im going with this

css needs to go fuck itself with a rusty, serrated dildo

Boss to client on phone: 'We'll get something to you around the middle of the week'

Boss to me (noticing my panicked look): 'Late Thursday or early Friday is the middle of the week if you count the weekend'

CEO emailing on a Saturday evening to suggest a "demo" at the end of the sprint. There is a demo at the end of EVERY sprint and always has been. Don't pretend to "work" on Saturday - you are fooling nobody.

110 TABS OPEN! Not sure where the sound is coming from

Holding off the website launch date because IE 8 isn't compatible! Can't wait for IE to be discontinued!

How I feel every time...