Well yeah. He is right!

AWS is so complicated, it could be a full-time job to only understand all their names and stuff

They break your heart too 😭💔

Definitely should get one!

Savage😂

Radium just gave me cancer.

(The react lib, not the radioactive stuff.)

When I hear people talk about love and the first thing that comes to mind is the Lua framework for 2D game development

junior dev: how do i-
senior dev: RTFM
junior dev: `npm install rtfm`

Programming fact....

Start a billion personal projects and work on none of them...

git pull origin master
[5 conflicts found]
[Delete]
git clone https://project.git

pushing sensitive data to GitHub repo...not realising for days...and then going through the painful process of removing it again 😑

Minimal comments, no tests, push to Master branch... *Cough* though, this is all for personal projects, not team projects.

Pair program with myself. It's lonely but 3x more effective than pairing with my idiot colleagues

$(this).parent().parent().next().find(..

Eating caveman diet, not doing caveman hunt.

Use hard-coded string literals instead of using string resources in Android projects.

try{

}catch(Exception e){
//do nothing
}

Visual studio - not naming controls

Premature optimization. 🙊

print ("Hello World") # prints hello world

git push --force

Because I always push after every commit, when the slightest fuckup happens I just hard reset, commit again, and force push...

...even if it's just a typo in the commit message

function isEven(number) {
return number % 2 == 0;
}

My friend and I were watching a documentary about Salmon. He suddenly starts to giggle and I ask him whats up.

Friend: Why do salmon suck at version control?

Me: why?

F: because they always git push force upstream 😂😂😂

Today I found out that I could inject HTML into our documentation system.
I quickly tested it with the <style> tag by setting all paragraph tags to have eye bleeding red backgrounds.
Then when seeing that it works I've made a modal that displays a blinking red alert with the headline "Access Denied!", a loading bar that says "Tracing intruder IP..." and another line "Erasing confidential information.. .".
Then I've added an animation to run on all paragraph, heading and list tags - first they bounce and then the become transparent.

Then I asked one of the interns to go to that specific document - one of the longest and most important manuals they have access to.
I then left the room and through a window watched the poor, panicking guy looking into the abyss and "realizing" that he somehow deleted the important files and will be traced down soon.

I had to tell him the truth to avoid a suicide in the office.

It was perfect! I will definitely do this to others! :D

10 points for next century option.

If Doctors Were Like Coders
(cross-posted from https://medium.com/@c09b6133a238/...)

Problem: The patient has a broken leg.

Solution:

1. Ask the patient to reproduce the exact scenario that resulted in the broken leg. Watch closely to see if the leg breaks again. Check for consistency by repeating the scenario a few more times.

2. Explain that this isn’t an intended use case for the leg, and besides, it only affects one person. Ask the patient if, all things considered, he really wants to prioritize his broken leg over your other work.

3. Point out that the patient’s other leg performs just fine under the same circumstances. Ask if he can use his other leg instead, at least as a workaround.

4. Attach several accelerometers to the broken leg and break it again. Stare at the data received from the accelerometers, then shrug and declare it useless.

5. Decide that the patient’s problem must be in his spleen. After all, that’s the only part of his body you don’t really understand.

6. Track down the people who created the patient. Ask them if he’s ever had spleen problems before. When they seem confused, explain that he has a broken leg. Ignore them when they tell you that the spleen they created could not possibly cause a broken leg.

7. Ask Google where a person’s spleen is. Spend half an hour reading the Wikipedia article on Splenomegaly.

8. Open the patient and grumble about how tightly-coupled his spleen and circulatory system are. Examine the spleen’s outer surface to see if there are any obvious problems. Inform him that several of his organs are very old and he should consider replacing them with something more modern.

9. Compare the spleen to some pictures of spleens online. If anything looks different, try to make it look the same.

10. Remove the spleen completely. See if the patient’s leg is still broken. If so, put the spleen back in.

11. Tell the patient that you’ve noticed his body is made almost entirely out of cellular tissue, whereas most bodies these days are made out of cardboard. Explain that cardboard is a lot easier for beginners to understand, it’s more forgiving of newbie mistakes, and it’s the tissue franca of the Internet. Ask if he’d like you to rebuild his body with cardboard. It will take you longer, but then his body would be future-proof and dead simple. He could probably even fix it himself the next time it breaks.

12. Spend some time exploring the lymph nodes in the patient’s abdominal cavity. Accidentally discover that if the patient’s leg is held immobile for six weeks, it gets better.

13. Charge the patient for six weeks of work.