My rubber duck is not hatching from my rubber egg. I'm starting to worry :-S

Forums are the reason half of the programrs have jobs.

I'm so sorry for your eyes

Sauce: https://gbatemp.net/threads/...

My goal was to hack the game to increment a random byte of memory every frame if SELECT was pressed. Mission accomplished!
(Done with ASM hacks, not recompiling from the pokeblue disasm)

Ughhh... I know how to, cant be fit.

Once I edited Wikipedia just to win an argument.

To the dev/gamers out there, who else is hyped for this game?!

https://youtu.be/lmwxyM3sPwc

I already know what weapon im gonna suck at so I'll stick with that 😁😁😁

Edit: game is Monster Hunter World

When you hit run after an hour of powercoding:

Old Mcdonald had a bug,
E I E I bug.
And on that bug he had a bug.
E I E I bug.
With a bug bug here and a bug bug there.
Here a bug, there a bug, everywhere a bug bug,
Old Mcdonald had a bug.....
E.....I.........E............I.................

[FATAL ERROR] : Program has ended for a simple reason...not telling why though...here's a completely unrelated line of code you may want to take a look at :)

Work 😀 everyone I work with is super cool and we’re friends...I think haha 🤔

Told some guy who was parking next to the emergency exit to move his car. He was like "uhm, well, you're not going to have an emergency anyway.."
*fire alarm starts*

Perfect timing ^^

Suicide Linux

Dear Skype,

You: working on a terminal with a black background and green foreground
Girl: sees the console "are you a hacker?"
You: 🎶..all around me are familiar faces..🎶

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Finallyyyy no more assignments, i can work on my own...

Oh wait

I gotta write my thesis

Fuck

You are a programmer! Now fix my printer!

Sit and stare at the computer screen for hours - which by the way, is not far from what I do if I'm honest.

I guess my family is better than the average dev family in that regard.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS SENT A FUCKING MESSAGE NOT INSTALL YOUR SHITTY SPYWARE MESSENGER!!

Boss: “Our YouTube channel doesn’t look at all like our website.”

Me: “I’ve made it look as close to our branding as YouTube allows for with its limited editing controls.”

Boss: “This is unacceptable. I expected more from you.”

Me: “I cannot accept the blame for this. YouTube is setting the design parameters for all channels and I can only do so much.”

Boss: “You can call the YouTube, can’t you? Why didn’t you call them?”

Me: “.......and ask them....what?”

Boss: “You don’t ask! You tell! Our company has been around for 140 years. Our brand name carries that weight. They’ll change their design to what we need if you’re assertive enough.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s just not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.”

Sorry, but most teachers are foolish and live in the developmental Stone Age. Somehow they have stopped developing and are teaching what they have learned decades ago.

I'm a better dev than my teacher 😔🔫

So... I've seen my dad talking a lot about quantum computers, and it's getting quite embarrassing to be there when he talks about them. He doesn't understand shit about them, except that they somehow use quantum mechanics for something.

Last week my uncle from Spain visited us. He's a Cristian pastor, and a cool guy, so they always talk about god and similar themes. We gathered the family to have a dinner with my uncle as he only was going to be one day with us. This is how part of the dinner went by:

" so, <Uncle's name>, have you heard about quantum computers?"

me thinking:*Oh my God. Please not again... *

"The nasa, the US government and all kinds of powerful entities are getting the quantum computer."

He always talks about THE quantum computer as if it was just one big machine.

"They have found that multiple universes exist through it. If this is what they are telling us, imagine how far they've gone. Remember that technology is always 8 years ahead of actual public technology."

Me:*please dad, stop. Who the fuck is made that claim and how many fucking years ago?*

"Did you know that many people remember that Mandela died in prison, while in the oficial version, he died after it? They must be messing with multiple universes, or multiple timelines are getting intertwined."

Me: *please, not the mandela effect again*

Then my dad procceded to talk about multiverses and how THE quantum computer was the future and about some parts of the Bible that supported it. Bizarre, I know.

When we are alone, I always try to tell him how things actually work but he always twists my claims to support his. Last time I told him that the mandela effect was perfectly explainable by psychological phenomena around forgotten memories. But this is going to far... Fuck the guys that made zeitgeist. Fuck Alex Jones. Fuck random youtube conspiracy channels. They make technology look like fucking magic for muggles.

*pat pat*

At work:

"I do not get your concerns over ssl, it works fine when we use ie"

"What do you mean by xss? A regular use would not even try ans attempt something like that"

"We need to keep the txt file with the passwords there, its an internal project, the public would not even attempt to reach our site, just put them back"

Ah the many stories that I have from this place. It is an otherwise good place to work at tho, but oh well...

Me on a daily basis tho

it doesn't matter even if your code cures cancer. it's always the ui that matters

It's been posted by a child in a forum so I shouldn't be evil, but it made me laugh 😂

The question was "why so many errors?"

Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares but for development companies/teams. Please make it happen.

A few days ago while browsing devRant, my girlfriend stopped me at this one post and asked why does this person have a rubber duck. I went on to explain her about Rubber Duck Debugging. She was totally amazed by the concept (she's not a techie). Today suddenly a package arrived at my door step from her.

Well now I have an entire family of rubber ducks to code with :D

When your boss asks you to debug some crappy legacy code and you need to bring in the heavy artillery

So this guy uploads pictures of his code to GitHub instead of actual code. I don't even...

https://github.com/To-Silva/...