I think im in love with Laravel

Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

Fucking react programmers

Why did Nintendo stop making the Wii U? It was time for a Switch!

Learning blender, how did I do?

COOOOKKKIIIEEES!!!

I made a script for this group to verify their data, but they didn't want to use it because it's "only 50 lines of code and might miss something".

Learning Angular 2 got me like...

Winning a stress ball with a stress ball.

During QA for a huge project when our dev team was confident of the stability of the project, We started introducing small bugs, QA team use to raise bugs in Jira, we marked them as not reproducible.

Frustrated QA started coming to our cubes - at this point dev team worked in a perfect coordination like a man to man marking in hockey. While one dev asked QA guy to reproduce the bug in front of him while the other dev has already fixed it.

Continued for a couple of days till our team lead was satisfied with the revenge.

My previous job. My first day at work. I get my laptop and I start walking to my office. My PM intercepts me and starts harassing me about our team being late. She ignored the fact that I had not even manage to turn the laptop on yet!

[How to] Mastering interview :)

Process.Start(@"brain.exe"); 😪

Branch merging IRL

When I'm 80 and still want to program but need a much much larger screen....

The same goes for clients.

Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.

Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>

I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.

Assigned to a new project team..

Using git, in a creative way. So.. "master" is "dev" branch, usually. Everyone can push their branch to dev server .. so it's "dynamic for us". Production branch is whatever, as long as the branch has the release version. Sometimes, the release comes from "master".. that mean "dev" in normal geek..

That's just Git. The source code is a saturated spagetti of Entity framework and Caliburn. It is littered with antipatterns, especially basebean. Holy Christmas and Easter that baseclass do a lot of stuff that has no place as a base class ..

Fucking frameworks, I'm gonna start to evangelize frameworks as the no1 antipattern.

MS SQL as the main DB, but is dumped to json FILES through a scheduled task to increase read performance on web.

There is a soap endpoint to expose the json files, fml..

I am assuming I was placed here to improve stuff, I have never in my life seen anything like this before.

There is a special place in hell for this repository

been a win user for all my career.
started a new job last monday,and had to switch to a mac.

damn, that shit fries my brain.
all the shortcuts, my brackets, everything is different.

Worst: working a job where I wasn't learning anything and had shit management.

Best: got a new job where I'm learning lots and has great management.

Sometimes when I see
#include<stdio.h>

I am reading it as
#include<studio.h>

"I just got out, and all dad cares about is getting one of these... 🤔"

I am working on a project with a retard.
I am supposed to focus on the mobile apps but the backend guy doesn't know shit about REST.I spend more time teaching him how to serialize data into JSON and telling him not to store passwords as plaintext(He's now using md5 despite me telling him to use bcrypt) than developing the mobile apps am supposed to.
Guess who will be blamed for missing the deadline?
Yea, it's me.
Guess who will get the credits for the backend i am developing?
Yea, it's him.
Fuck!

Our friendship should be perennial, should be perpetual and as eternal as that of a #WinRAR's 40 days trial license.
#Geeky #FriendshipGoals

Printers... technology created by the devil itself

!rant

Little reverse bot psychology

Finally making myself learn SQL within the last couple months and have no idea why I used to overcomplicate the basics 😑

I'm new into Java and tried creating a simple GUI.

Took me about 3 hours until i've found out that I must put a JTextArea into a JScollPane and not the other way around to display the textarea with a working scrollbar.

I love this already.

(I'm also a new devRant user, so... Hey :] !)

R, matey

The first fortune I've read in years... seems appropriate.

"If you don't program yourself, life will program you."

Good thing i do program, myself!