Thought this was funny, thought I’d share.

The problem with 10:30 pm is that it comes exactly one minute before 2:30 am if you are not careful !

In C# you can open as many scopes wherever you want at whatever time you please. Nested within themselves, doesn't matter.

Use this to fuck with the other developers on your team. Fence off their evil code behind a thousand curly braces!

Or maybe jazz up your indentation, give the code a nice and bouncy flow!

This is not a joke. This is not something I wrote to be funny. This is not found randomly off the internet. This is a real part of the project I inherited: a function that not only is more cumbersome to use than the simple <Array>.contains that it wraps, but rather than returning the boolean result from the function, sends it through an if statement and returns hardcoded true and false values for... Good luck? I guess?

Manager: Could you create the UI for the new feature? The client wants to test it. We need it in 3 days.

*1 week later*

Client: IT DOESNT WORK

Me: This is just a visual demo... but everything will work when we realse the feature.

Client: okay but can I see what it will do?

Of course you can! Just wait until we relase it!

*2 weeks later*

Manager: What are you doing?

Me: Working on the UI for the new feature.

Manager: Wait, hadn't you already done it for the demo?

Me: That UI didn't really work. It was basically a bunch of HTML, without reactivity or abstraction or any functionality.

Manager: Okay, how much where you able to re-use?

Me: almost nothing.

Manager: So... you wasted those 3 days?

Oh so I'm the one who wasted 3 days.
Me: Kinda, yeah

Manager: Why couldn't you have done this when I asked you to do the UI?

You can't expect good quality code in 3 days. Pls stop wasting it on demos.

You know it's bad when Github finds it necessary to tell you your code is trash

No one cares about how a module works unless it stops working

programmers...

Network cable...

CAN FORUMS THAT REQUIRE YOU TO MAKE AN ACCOUNT TO USE THEIR SEARCH FEATURE FUCK THE HELL OFF ALREADY?!?!

In an in-house beta our product was causing blue screens. We had some the crash reports and a I dug out the technical notes in how to decipher that gibberish. Still no real clue, but there was an address happened where it was supposed to happen. So I dumped our binary into two reversing tools, jumped to that address and looked at the surrounding code.
And sure there it was: A missing check when manipulating a C-string which could lead to out of bound access. Added a check BSOD's gone.

On Slack
Me: I can't access the VPN
Network team: You have to create a user incident
My browser: 403
Network team: Yeah you need to be on the VPN to access the incident system
Me: 😐

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

Happy Christmas.

why do programmers prefer dark mode?

this.Meme

Guys, anyone seen my mouse? Can't find it

Did that with Cat a lot of times !

Credits to internet.... Which one your organization prefers

Native app 😂😂😂

Boss: We want this feature ASAP, how will it take from your time?

Me:*giving honest estimation* about 4 days, there are many details to handle..

Boss: oh, we need it tomorrow evening, I said to the client it'll be ready..

SO WHY YOU ASKING ME FOR ESTIMATION YOU F**
😠🤬

Guys, next to the moon right now, Jupiter.
Get away from your pc and. Take a look. Pretty amazing.

every single fuckening day

I don't always drink water.
But when I do, it's coffee. 😅

I'm starting to realize my place looks more and more like some sort of Batcave...

found this gem at a local thrift

Pushing changes to production via SFTP. Luckily I don't work at that company anymore.

Have a Monday Cat, all. Don't forget to wake up this morning!

(Image was dark, so had to edit into visibility. Yes, this is one of my cats.)

Remember this....

Me and buddy are learning some new stuff