Story of my life 😒

Deleted a failed test instead of fixing it.

Web Developer with no common sense: “I’m going to query the currency calculator API for each of the 1000 records to convert.”.

Web Developer with common sense: “I’m going to query the currency rates API and use the calculation to convert each of the 1000 records.”

Client: I want this type of app and website.

Me: Ok, I i'll do that, let's discuss the whole functionalities and flows.

Client: No, not right now, you just start developing, we will discuss functionalities and flows later.

😲 😂

Boss, yesterday: hey, we just got you a Windows 10 machine. Test the app and make sure it works.
Me: kay. (Fast forward20 minutes) I found a hell of a bug.
Boss: what?
Me: the SA disabled scripts on the machine so I can't build.
Boss: Are you serious?
Me: yeah, and he's out until January.

It's that Christmas time of the year again

while(true) {
googleSomething();
try {
develop();
} catch(Exception e) {
stackOverFlow(e);
}
}

True story

Actually sometimes the browser does make a difference...

Was getting a 500 error when using WebClient but HTTPWebRequest didn't have any issues.

Me after a large Git merge, after expecting masses of merge conflicts and getting none. Life is good my friend.

Today I asked my client to do "ctrl+f5" to empty browser cache he literally did "ctrl+f+5" and said "it did nothing"

The software development process.

I can't fix this.

*Crisis of confidence*
*Questions career*
*Questions life*

Oh it was a typo, cool.

Client gave another agency access to their site while in contract with us and lied about it. Now they want me to go in and fix the bugs they caused. I reinstall the backup from the last time I completed edits and things were approved and working. Client is mad that pages are missing and ads are going to 404 pages.

Me: "Didn't you say that there haven't been any changes in the two weeks since I completed your last edits?"

Client: "Well yeah."

Me: "Then there shouldn't be anything missing."

Debugging be like...

Client: "My proposed deadline can't be met? Maybe we should go to your office and sit right next to you to see how you work."
Yeah right, that surely speeds things up. Even if the ever-changing requirements require at least triple of the time allowed.

Knock knock.

Race condition.

Who's there?

You know you are fucked when you see these results starts to come up in your search result.

Feeling ill

Manager: "yeah so thanks for understanding we can't give you a payrise, by the way we need you to train the new guy we just hired who is your senior because even though he is more experienced than you as a c# dev he doesn't understand what an object is"

Me...