The ultimate rage-fueled, caffeine-deprived, sleep-deprived, absolutely done-with-this-shit PR review rant.
You know what? I’m done. I’m DONE. I submit a PR, I triple-check it, I run all the tests, I follow the damn coding standards. I hit submit thinking, ‘Ah yes, this is a good piece of code, I did well.’ And then? THEN??!

The floodgates of hell open.
"Hey, can you make this function name more descriptive? BRO IT’S CALLED getUserData(), WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? retrieveUserDataFromTheDepthsOfTheDatabaseAndFormatItAccordingToTheSacredGuidelinesOfOurAncestors()?!Fuck grammarly #$%&*

Or the classic:
‘Hmm, this line could be optimized.’ OH REALLY, COULD IT? Could it really? Would shaving off 0.000001ms on a non-critical function really revolutionize our application? WILL IT SAVE THE WORLD? WILL IT END WORLD HUNGER?! NO? THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!

And of course, there’s always one smartass who wants to flex their ‘knowledge’ with a random suggestion:FUCK YOU GRAMMARLY &*(_+‘Have you considered rewriting this in Rust for better memory safety? SIR. THIS IS A FRONTEND BUTTON HANDLER. TAKE YOUR RUST AND GO.

THEN ohhhh THEN the moment you fix everything, push your changes, AND THEN the same reviewer who just tormented you for three hours goes, "LGTM 👍". THAT'S IT? THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY AFTER MAKING ME REWRITE HALF MY CODE??

AND THEN, THE FINAL BOSS MOVE:
‘Can you squash your commits?’
SQUASH??? SQUASH?!?! BRO, I’M ABOUT TO SQUASH MY LAPTOP ON YOUR BALD STINKY HEAD.

At this point, I am convinced PR reviews exist purely for torture. They are not about improving the code. They are a psychological experiment to see how long it takes before a developer completely loses their mind and starts a new life as a goat farmer.

I swear, next PR, I’m just merging it straight into COMPANY'S ASS main and letting fate decide.