Friend: Do you think you could make an app that does X?

Me: Yes but I'm not an app developer so haven't had much experience with app design so might take a while

Also friend: What sort of programmer are you? It's basic shit

My friends don't seem to understand that the programming loop for game development (Mostly background asset management) and app development is like trying to ask why a bull and a bull frog won't breed...Yes they both have bull in the name but they are 2 fucking different cunting things...

Special place in hell for those who have autoplay video on their website, especially news sites

I saw a guy building a website today.
No React.
No Vue.
No Ember.
He just sat there.
Writing HTML.
Like a Psychopath.

Oh LinkedIn.

You were ok back in the day. But after the fifth recruiter in as many days sending a message about "fantastic opportunities for the senior codings with the great salary in a relocation budget friendly area", and the only other messages asking me to celebrate someone's "work anniversary", it may be time to say goodbye.

So this story is from my University days. I was in the 6th semester back then, studying CS.

My University website was pretty shitty. Basically it was one of those old ass website that said "Best viewed in IE8". Anyway, I was snooping about the website, trying to find some news regarding an event.

I logged into my account, and randomly browsed into the leave request portal. This was a basic HTML form where students could apply for leaves from the classes and see the status of the leaves, if they have been granted or not. I noticed that the link to the request portal from the student login welcome page was actually something like http://univ.com/student/index.php/..., here 1234567 was my student ID. Yep, it was hardcore into the page, and sent as a GET request on being clicked. That was their idea of authentication I guess. I change the student ID to someone else's, and it let me login as that person.

Long story short, I wrote a little python script to login as every person from the starting of student IDs, till the end, then submit a leave request with a random dumb reason like "can't come, at the strip club" or "going for sex change operation". What I did not know was that when a request is submitted, a text message is also sent to the student's guardians phone number. I ran the script.

That day, over 1000 parents received text messages from the University saying that their kids have applied for a leave from random date to random date for some retarded reason. It was a blast. Students were talking about how someone had "Hacked" into the system.

Tags are really bad implemented on this website (frontend)

Oh my god, I'm basically at the verge of self-destruction! I've been trying all day to set up a simple Node server with react, but it's never that easy, is it? You need Babel to transpile ES6 + JSX to ES5, and then you need Webpack for god knows what reasons, and there are so man configuration files and options, and there are 1000 tutorials with 1001 ways to do something. I've created probably 20 new project because when I complete a tutorial and try to do something on my own, all hell is loose and I get some cryptic error message and am unable to ever get it to work. Holy cow, I need a drink... Am I just a retard? Greetings from Norway, by the way!

NODE CRYPTO YOU PUSS RIDDEN CANCEROUS CYST ON THE SWEATY BALLSACK OF THE INTERNET... fucking explain to me how every mother fucking module in node with require(‘crypto’) in it throws a hissy fit at runtime when I call only 1 file with it in it?! These packages that I’m not fucking using by the way but are nonetheless included by default in node are the ones having a meltdown.. and nodes answer?! Use the embedded functions. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!! If I didn’t need it Node could go and get gang raped by an angry pack of silverback gorillas. Fuuuuuuucccckkkkk yoouuuuu

Moral of the day -

Thus spake the Master Programmer:

"When a program is being tested, it is too late to make design changes."

- The Tao of programming

So today I decided to switch to angular 4(material) on a project I had done. I have to say I am shocked by the sheer size of the node modules dependencies I have to install. Why wouldn't they just ship it all in one package. 😤 I had to install the client, material SDK, animations etc and all this is happening over shit sub-saharan Africa internet speed. I have been setting up for the past 5 hours and I'm only halfway through. If anyone reading this rant has a company that works to bring internet to Africa please hurry. We need you.