Just spoke with a guy who considers himself a PC expert.

He: You can always recover your offline data from your PC, even if you burn it.

Me: You just need to remove your hard drive.

He: Even if you remove your hard disk, offline data can be recovered from from RAM memory.

Me: WTF?? * Trying to explain him that RAM is a volatile memory*

He: Yeah but you can recover it from the BIOS.

Me: r u serius right now??

And I can continue, because we've unfortunately talked for about an hour.

Why these people consider themselves experts and why the fuck do they have to teach you things that the don't know. FML

1. Find bug
2. Try 3 methods of fixing
3. All fail
4. Tell yourself you're trying for the LAST time then you'll go on to something else
5. End up trying 5 more times
6. Repeat step 4 20 times
7. Cry
8. Finally take a break
9. Return next day, try another method, it works instantly

FML!

Well, not wrong though..

*Lazy Friend has IntelliJ and Eclipse*
*Lazy Friend using Notepad++*
Me: Why don't you use IntelliJ? Its debugger really helps..
LF: It takes too much time to start, I don't have that much time..
*continues staring at his screen and using his mind debugger*

It's kinda funny when he just sits and stares at his screen after saying that he doesn't have any time..

It took way less time to find the (a?) bug when he finally used the debugger..

Work enforced a screensaver policy - a corporate screensaver that even us local admin devs can't change.
I swiftly made a .reg script and distributed it.
We all laugh whenever someone's "Ribbons" screensaver starts up.
I love using my powers for evil.

I once brought my Kali Linux laptop to school. (Because normal had dead battery, waiting for shipping)

MFW someone from the IT department is called in to fix teachers projector and he sees I still have the default dragon wallpaper on it.
MFW when recognises it it's Kali.
MFW he calls the police and my laptop gets taken away because 'its dangerous' and I get questioned in school.

The police came back a week later to check my laptop again. 'uhh we gotta check the logs'.

IF I WANTED IT TO BE DANGEROUS YOU'D BE FIXING A LOT MORE THAN JUST THE FUCKING PROJECTOR!

Also, wuddup devrant!