* break it into elementary steps, small enough to fit into your "estimation time unit", e.g. days or hours.
* estimate those steps for "developing at a leisurely pace" if nothing goes wrong.
* think about "what could go wrong" (list everything!) and adjust values accordingly.
* adjust total amount with experience values, like:
* times 1.2 for every manager
* times 1 to 4 based on which legacy projects i have to touch

and finally:
* multiply with `1+log(t/u,2)`, with `u` being the amount of useful data in the requirement description and `t` being the total amount of data in the requirement description
* sample: with our current "favourite" customer, about 90% of all tickets is garbage, so t/u = 100/10 = 10 => log(10,2) = 3.3 => multiply everything with 4.3

I dont understand how am i not fired. I literally dont know how to do shit in this legacy 30 year old junkyard code. I am literally alone working on this project on a giant codebase and have no one for help. The project is burning on fire and scrum master is talking shit for breaking deadlines and i cant do anything about it. Why dont they just fucking fire me that would be such a huge relief bro

The most stupid question you can ask at an open source software event?

"So, this system, is it open source?"

I asked this to a guy at a stand about the system he was presenting (forgot the project name).

He stared at me with a wtf face and then replied with "....yes.... of course.... this is an OPEN SOURCE software event?!"

I felt quite fucking stupid.

Respect ++

I have the best sister in the world! Look what she 3D printed for me!

1. 72 hours at an heavy used street with many holes and open windows (not the os) on an hot day for those, who stop the people, who work against air pollution;
2. die nvidia;
3. a pc with an inbuilt 10 kW fusionreactor, water heater, 2 amd cpu of the latest gen, 2 of the highest tier amd graphic cards and an mainboard which follows the spec of the cpus;

That should cover everything i need.

How do you choose your distro?

Had a PR blocked yesterday. Oh god, have I introduced a memory leak? Have I not added unit tests? Is there a bug? What horrible thing have I unknowingly done?

... added comments to some code.

Yep apparently “our code needs to be readable without comments, please remove them”.

Time to move on, no signs of intelligent life here.

I know sex is cool but have you ever entered BIOS with only one key press?!

If you want to call the Manager press Ctrl + Shift + Esc

Uhh... That's cool! Someone hacked the public website for Dublin's tram system...

Woman couldn't reach the login page of her hosting account.

After 15 minutes of debugging she found out that her Internet wasn't turned on.

This shit is the fucking reason why I drink alcohol.

So Earth just completed another revolution around the Sun and people going craaaazy all over the internet. Like calm down bruh :v

🤔🤔🤔

Courtesy - Science page @fb

Love PyCharm's installation 👌

*registers for an account on RaidForums*
> Sorry mate, we only accept the following email carriers: gmail.*, googlemail.*, hotmail.*, hotmail.*.*, yahoo.*, yahoo.*.*, ymail.*, live.*.*, live.*, outlook.*, outlook.*.*, protonmail.*, riseup.net, aol.com, gmx.de, raid.lol, msn.com, cox.net, mail.ru, att.net, bellsouth.net, laposte.net, rambler.ru, sky.com, mail.com, pm.me, shaw.ca, charter.ca, facebook.com, terra.com.br, libero.it, web.de, free.fr, orange.fr, wanadoo.fr, rediffmail.com, comcast.net, yandex.ru, uol.com.br, bol.com.br, sfr.fr, verizon.net

Now what if some dickhead somewhere wants to use his own domain to be able to reroute any spam from some forum dickheads to /dev/null, hmm? YOU FUCKING WANKERS, LET ME FUCKING USE MY OWN DOMAIN ALREADY YOU TWATS!!!

Running from my job to my bus stop while having my phone in my hands trying to fend off a cyber attack while my hands are nearly freezing and its raining like hell.

Sometimes my job is just fucking awesome.

That feeling when you boot up your shiny new laptop for the first time and there's no fucking Cortana, online accounts or mandatory updates right out of the box.

Thank you Dell ❤️

D: “Did the attackers exfiltrate any data?”

M: “I can’t say for sure, but most likely based on—”

D: “—but did you find any undeniable evidence of it?”

M: “Keep in mind that the absence of evidence isn’t necessarily evidence of absence. There was very limited logging to begin with and the attacker erased artifacts and logs.”

D: “If there’s no evidence, then there was no exfiltration.”

M: “If a business doesn’t have cameras on its front door and then gets robbed, it can’t claim there was no robbery just because they didn’t video-record it.”

D: “That’s a poor analogy. Nothing’s missing here. I couldn’t care less if a robber made a *copy* of my money. That isn’t robbery.”

M: “... If the Titanic really hit an iceberg, then how come no pieces of an iceberg were ever found in the wreckage?”

So I wrote a code in HTML and js that puts an alert on the screen that says "all of your info is mine now, goodbye" and then redirects you to the nyam cat site

I sent it to some of my friends to have a little laugh but they have sent it to other people and eventually the school principle called me and told me to go to her office and retrieve all the data I stole

I went there and explaind her the prank but she didn't believe me
So she called the programming teacher to check the file
She laughed as hard as I've ever seen anyone laughing and told me to go back to class

It was scary and funny but the thing I've learnt is that it's stupid to prank ignorant people.

Currently acing an interview, had to do a typing test, got 67wpm and 98% accuracy.

"If you want faster I'd have to bring my own keyboard, this one's a little small"

"You can go faster?"

I just could resist posting this perfect UV wrapping.

Merry Christmas!

Dashing through the snow
Get the fuck out of my way
You are all so slow
and fat, what do you weigh?
HA HA !!
I'll end your caroling
but It won't be a silent night
I've come to terrorize your town
and watch you die tonight
Jingle Bells
Go to hell
I've hijacked Santa's sleigh
Oh what fun it is to ride over bodies every day
HEY !!
Jingle Bells
Go to hell
Bodies will decay
after you're all crushed beneath my motherfucking sleigh
HEY !!

Credits: Insanity Wold

And it is healthy BTW!

No doubts, the software engineers suggested this.

Me: how's your password security?

Them: of course we value security very highly, our passwords are all hashed before being stored.

Me: what hashing algorithm?

Them: oh we hash it with sha and then place that in a table indexed by the password.

Indexed. By. The fucking. Password.

motherf... AGAIN?!?!?

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

Sneak: 100