> New hire in company
> Uses white theme in IDE
> Sits next to me
> Get blind everytime when turning head left 😭

Inb4 sorry if this is cringe or whatever

We don’t do code review

This! Hahaha

So today is my last working day in a company where I worked for 4.6 years. Phew!!

Hmm. In the cooking section you say...

That feeling!

So I hear Christmas is coming, right? Here's a christmas tree for you!

P.S. this is the real thing. It's a Java project we have to work with... For Christ's sake! The guy who wrote this has recently left the company and handed this code to us as his legacy.

fuck.

A client, who don't know about programming. But only wants to finish the project ASAP

Me - It's complicated to implements this new feature.
Client - It's easy!

When you want to update your app on Playstore but you forgot your keystore password

Most difficult part of a programmer?
-> Naming variable

/** It takes me 2-5 mins to think

I just wanted to thank Google

When its 2am and your code still not working

I love kotlin

I love the way you bug. 😐😑

My teacher was presenting and her pp crashed. She just continued with her presentation but her desktop was showing. I instantly noticed she had a "stickynote" with her login details for our grading system and I tried telling her to put her laptop to sleep or anything but she got mad at me for interupting class and threw me out of class. My revenge will be showing admins the picture of her desktop ;)

Client: "Hi, there's a problem with this link"
Me: "How odd, I'll take a look right away"

-- 19 minutes later --

Client: "Has this been fixed?"
Me: "I'm working on it currently"
Client: "OK please let us know when it's done"
Me: "I will do"

-- 2 minutes later --

Client: "Hi, is this done?"
Me: "I've just told you I will let you know as soon as it's done"

-- 5 minutes later --

Client: "Hi, sorry to hassle, but is this done yet?"
Me: *starts twitching*
Me: "I am working on it and I will let you know when it's done"
Client: "OK, well don't worry about it, it doesn't really matter"
Me: *explodes*

What would you like to work as if you were no involved with coding?

Fuck those groupmates that leech off me. I can easily finish this project in a week but they are being a burden to me. They're not doing anything.

I like this kind of job...

What to do with a few hours to work on a project

I am Indian. I thought my parents had high standards then I looked at devrant's requirements for a stress ball.

just arriving at devRant and seeing you guys use one of my favorite font ... let's create an account ;-)

Our CEO/Boss thought up a new idea for an App

Boss: I got a new idea, i dont know what it is, but its very easy. How long you can do it?

Us: •.•

Quote, I really liked - “Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.”

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

How I feel when editing an Android Manifest file

- assignment is to display a paragraph fit within a rectangle
- takes maybe 10 minutes to write
- 1 error preventing Xamarin Forms solution from building
- googles error and seems to be a version issue with a single package
- upgrade that single package
- 43 errors preventing solution from building
- reverts back to previous package version
- 76 errors preventing solution from building
- angrily turns off laptop and packs away things into laptop case
- talks shit about xamarin and all the annoying nuisances ive dealt with for this stupid mobile app class
- takes laptop back out because deadline is tomorrow and i have to make the solution build even though i want nothing to do with it
- laptop takes 2 hours and 14 minutes to load up Windows (no update or anything. Just me signing in like every other normal day)
- code builds first try without errors
- wait what the fuck
- concludes that i need only verbally intimidate electronics into submission from now on

* phone conversation with Dad*
Dad: What are you doing?
Me: Busy creating website.
Dad: So, if I type " www", will I be able to see it?
Me: *explaining website hosting and servers for 15mins straight*
Dad: Huh. You do learn something in college then.
Me:🤐

thank u, next

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"